Contemporary women wear many hats

Meagan A Sylvester

Dear AFETT,

I am tired! Being a wife, mom and business owner is beginning to take a toll on me physically and mentally.

My husband is very supportive, I love my kids and I enjoy working, but sometimes it's overwhelming.

What advice do you have for women like me, who wear many hats?

Dear Reader,

In today’s post-pandemic world, the modern working woman has continuous competing interests to juggle on a daily, weekly and monthly basis.

The pandemic brought with it a new way of doing business and life, with widespread access to virtual learning, meetings and living.

However, demanding deadlines and multi-tasking still loom. The silent demand to go above and beyond has created many burnt-out women, wives, mothers, executives, sisters and friends.

Wearing many hats is a privilege to some and a menace to others.

How do we as women strike the balance and achieve success in the workplace and at home? Is it possible to be mother of the year and employee of the month?

Often, solutions of this nature call for a closer inspection of what is considered women’s work and the changing reality of the varying roles of women and the work they do in the workplace and at home.

Women have over the centuries been responsible for the various tasks in the home, community, workplace and boardroom.

As history has shown us, from rearing children to being prime ministers and presidents, demands have been placed on women to demonstrate their value to society.

Pick up any book on sociology and turn to the chapter on Sociology of the Family, and you will be given a bird’s-eye view of the scholarship of famed sociologist Talcott Parsons, who was concerned over how elements of society could be functional. As a functionalist, he was also concerned with social order, but argued that order and stability in a society are the result of the influence of certain values in society, rather than in structure, such as the economic system.

Stability in the family

Parsons, believing that the sexual division of labour should be the mainstay of how a productive family should function, saw men and women playing different roles in society that should begin in the family. He saw the family as operating most efficiently with clear-cut sexual divisions of labour and, in turn, creating a complementary set of roles that link men and women together.

From this perspective, women should carry out expressive roles, providing care and security to children, while offering them emotional support. Men, on the other hand, would perform an instrumental role, more importantly, being the breadwinner for the family.

In other words, women would take on the role of managing the household and raising children, while men provide financial support by working outside the home. According to Parsons, this complementary division of labour would ensure the stability of the family.

The changing role of women

Using Parsons’ theory as a catalyst for understanding women’s roles in today’s society, we can immediately note that the world is certainly a different place now compared to when these initial views were espoused.

Importantly, the rationale is that all human beings need to be nurtured by caregivers and want to express care and love to others. These are therefore neither male nor female roles, but human roles.

It’s not enough or is it imposter syndrome?

While Parsons was theorising for a different era, our reality today is that it is widely accepted that both men and women are nurturers and capable of expressing emotional needs.

Given this, the role of the woman has taken on a metamorphosis beyond that of only the family.

As the transformation of feminine roles has taken place for women, men have taken on differing responsibilities which often include home-making and caretaking of children, single-handedly. Further, some men have become house husbands and taken on being the emotional support for their wives, girlfriends and loved ones as their women assumed expanded roles in the community, workplace and the boardroom. Men like these are to be applauded and celebrated.

But what happens when all this support is still not enough for the woman, or there is still a feeling of inadequacy, imposter syndrome or being overwhelmed?

Ways of Sunlight

Digging deep into oneself and determining one’s own value as an individual is usually the first step to achieving self-actualisation.

It is often said that happiness is created by the ways one decides to create it, instead of depending on others to provide it.

Kamala Harris is the US vice president and presidential nominee for the Democratic Party. Amidst those two massive portfolios, she is also hailed as a great auntie, chef, lawyer, prosecutor and sorority sister. Using her as an example, we can see that wearing many hats is what the modern woman has chosen, rather than letting life dictate her pace.

Joy has become a buzzword for the democratic campaign, and Harris is known for her characteristic laugh and joyful spirit.

While not every woman fits into the model, the lesson here is: How do we, as women, choose to create our own ways of sunlight?

For each one, the blueprint would be different, and that is what makes the journey to self-fulfilment so joyous.

We can each create our own wondrous plan for a contented life, our way.

This article was submitted by the Association of Female Executives of TT (AFETT).

AFETT is a non-profit organisation formed in 2002 with the goal of bringing together professional women and engaging in networking opportunities, training and business development.

Ask AFETT is brought to you by the Research and Public Advocacy team and addresses issues and concerns of executive and entrepreneurial professionals.