A gift of mother’s ray for Mother’s Day

DR CRYSTAL BENJAMIN AND MELINDA COX

Once again, the time is approaching. That time, and more specifically that day of the year where we show mothers love, affection and gratitude. Employing us to make this day grand, there are several shouts on the airwaves reminding us that, “She must be treated special”, or “It’s her day” and of course, the ever popular: “…not only on Mother’s Day.” Unfortunately, the harsh reality is that many of those one-liners fade from our minds, just about the same time that the sun fades into the night on this special day.

In case you may be wondering, let me reassure you that I am in no way trying to gather troops to extend the festivities of Mother’s Day. Neither am I steering a crusade to crush the importance of this delightful day. In fact, my simple hope is that mothers would begin to look forward to mother’s ray, rather than Mother’s Day. For me, as a mother of three young children, fatigue is almost synonymous with the feeling of fulfillment. In fact, I have it as a running joke with some of my friends that when they ask, “Hey, how are you?’ I would cheerfully reply, “Hi, I’m tired.” Yes, cheerfully tired! Is that even possible? It was for me, and it can be for you as well.

It is a fact that a mother’s work is never finished. Just think of it: summoned by the sound of the alarm, she jumps out of sleep early enough to prepare breakfast and maybe lunch, sometimes puts a load in the machine and even tries to reply to an email or complete that statistical report. Next, she goes to each room flipping on light switches, pulling off blankets, and giving vigourous shakes while repeating her slogan that may sound like this: "Child’s name, it’s 6 o’ clock. Time to get up. We will be late." This is done again in ten minutes with a bit more intensity. Her next task is to monitor time usage of the bathroom, the speed of getting dressed and offer coaxes for breakfast, while she simultaneously gets herself ready. As members of her family depart, be it at the doorsteps or at the doors of the family vehicle, she checks her list with questions to her children: "Do you have your project? When is the payment deadline for the field trip? Did I sign off your homework?"

She continues her day by diligently fulfilling her eight to four then heads home. In response to her family’s greetings of hunger, she lovingly prepares dinner, squeezes in a house chore or two, while inquiring about the details of everyone’s day. She performs her nightly routine, double checks to ensure that everyone is safe and sound, then she turns in, to do it all again in a couple hours. Even after this, she rests lightly in case a cough or a groan may petition her to begin the nurse’s night shift.

Mothers, each day we give so much of ourselves almost always without hesitation. Challenge yourselves to let this upcoming Mother’s Day be the beginning of your mother’s ray! A ray is defined as a beam of radiant energy emanating from a bright object. Indeed, mummy is that brilliant person in the lives of her children and whatever she does certainly exudes that radiant energy. Sadly, on the contrary, mothers don’t always see the necessity of having themselves experience that radiant energy. This paradigm can be effectively shifted with self-care.

Self-care, as the words imply in its basic form, is caring for oneself. On a deeper level, it involves knowing what gives you a rush of energy or that covering of peace. Self-care helps you, help others.

1) The power of affirmations

An extremely revered book says that life and death is in the power of the tongue. What do you tell yourself on a daily basis? Do these manifestations add glow to your mother’s ray? There is a quite funny but profound part in Tate Taylor’s 2011 movie, The Help, that says, "You is smart, you is kind, you is important." And indeed, you are. Take a minute, pause from reading this article and right at this moment affirm brilliance into your life. Speak beauty into all that you do. Manifest right now that you will always be able to shine through any crack, crevice or blunder that life may throw at you. Control your mind, control your actions and shine on.

2) Me time

At first thought, images of going for a drive in the cool of the evening, with windows down and the crisp air refreshing my spirit, comes to mind. While this is a perfect example, 'me time' can certainly be experienced on a smaller scale. When my children were babies, my me time was in the shower. Having a bath was sacred and no one dared to interrupt me, unless it was an emergency. There was something satisfyingly soothing about that hot water beating on my back, then running down to my toes. Other simple gestures for "me time" include a relaxing cup of tea, reading a chapter from that book you have been meaning to read so long ago or just turning up the music and hosting a one-man dance or karaoke party. What about getting a massage or a pedicure? Journalling and crafting are also effective. Hey, the possibilities are endless.

3) Nutrition and physical activity

Are you often so drained that you barely have energy for anything extra? What about after having a meal, do you feel lethargic? Improper diet and/or lack of exercise are two chief culprits in dimming your glow. I will make it clear that I am not a medical physician, nor do I have any certification in diet and nutrition. However, research tells us proper nutrition of a well-balanced meal eaten in moderation, along with regular physical activity that gets the heart pumping, results in an overall healthier mind and body. One main reason for this is that certain foods and exercise produce feel-good hormones such as endorphins, serotonin and dopamine, which give us feelings of relaxation, happiness and motivation. Proper diet and regular exercise, which are simple antidepressants, also give the added benefit of being natural aphrodisiacs which increase libido.

You don’t have time to exercise? Start small. Make an extra trip or two up and down the stairs or perform deep breathing while you hang clothes out in the sun instead of dumping them into the dryer. Without doubt, nutrition and exercise will throw that glow right onto you.

4) Self development

As mothers, routine helps us function through the day and sticking to plans is just as important to get through the following day. With set timetables, weekly schedules, and monotonous routine it is so easy to get wrapped in the poisonous comfort of complacency. Over time we may lose the joy of daily activities and even begin yearning for something more. Mummy, this is the time to rediscover you through self development. Do you know what things you enjoy the most? What are your areas of strength? What skills have you been thinking about improving? Delving into the answers to any of these questions, will begin your exciting journey of self development. Improve one of your skills, pick up a new hobby, register for that upcoming course, learn more about fixing your vehicle. There is a boundless plethora of opportunities to learn new things.

5) Soul care

I first heard the term "soul care" from one of my friends. As rationalised by her, we can do so much to take care of our self, but we must also care for our soul while we are here in this present moment. What is at the core of your personal fundamental beliefs? What struggles do you face that you need divine intervention for? Is forgiveness important to you? What happens if someone gets something that you wanted for yourself? Into whose hands do you commit your life and the life of your family? Yes, soul care incites us to daily tap into our supreme spiritual source and pray for the best tools needed for us to live a fulfilling life, and help others do the same.

Dr Crystal Benjamin and Melinda Cox are part of the Enriched Life Limited team. At Enriched Life Limited, clients can access counselling and coaching services to individuals, couples, and organisations.

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