‘Mammy mammy ah want tuh go tuh school’

DR RADICA MAHASE

I am a 13-year-old boy who happens to have autism. Some people think I am disabled, others think that I am retarded while others think that I am stupid or dotish. I am neither of those. I just have autism. I might not be able to communicate verbally with my peers; I might not be able to brush my teeth, take a shower or put on my clothes without my mammy’s help. I might have a special diet and I might hate loud noises, but at the end of the day I am just a curious teenager who wants to learn new things.

In fact, I want to learn! I want to do new things. I want to stare at pictures in a book. I want someone to read me stories and hold my hands and guide me to do puzzles and fun crafts! I want to draw a picture of my family and colour it with crayons. I want to play with colourful blocks. I really want to read and write! I really think I can do that if I go to school.

My mammy said that it doesn’t have any school for me. She said she can’t send me to a regular public school because who will take care of me when I get meltdowns. She said that the nearest private school, which she can barely afford, is two hours away. You see, I really need her or someone who understand my needs to be with me most of the time, especially to be with me when I get meltdowns. Also, I can’t sit for long periods so I need a school where I can walk around or go to a quiet space when I am overwhelmed. Mammy said I need an extra special school.

Sigh. So I am home. Home every single day with my mammy – she stopped working to take care of me. Sometimes we go to run errands and we go to the market, etc., but it’s very tiring for her to take me with her everywhere so most of the time she just stays home with me. Mammy tries to teach me things and I learn. She helps me build puzzles and colour but she doesn’t know how to really come up with fun activities just to stimulate my brain.

Once mammy got someone to come and teach me. She was doing a degree in special education and she had all these great ideas and activities for me to do. We made slime and played with play dough – we made animals from the play dough and I learnt about the different animals then. Every day we would do different things. Once she taught me to catch a ball – it took me all week to learn that but eventually I started catching the ball and I felt so happy and so proud that I was able to learn to do something new.

And that is why I really really want to go to school. Just to learn new things. It might take me longer than the other children but eventually I will learn. My mammy said I am not the only child with autism at home. She said that there are so many of us who cannot attend a regular school and whose parents can’t afford to send us to private schools. She said that there is a whole set of us who just need a different environment to learn. It’s not that we cannot learn we just need to be taught differently. I think it is very sad but nobody really thinks about children like me who are just home. I wish that people would realise that I have a brain too. It might be developed differently from other children but it’s still there. I can still learn.

I just need somewhere different to learn; somewhere I don’t have to sit for long hours, where activities are colourful and stimulating and fun; where people will understand and accept that I think and learn differently and teach me in a way that would work for my brain. A place where my teachers are happy when I learn something new, it doesn’t matter if I take a week or two weeks to do it. Mammy mammy ah want tuh go tuh school. Ah want you to understand, ah need an education.

Dr Radica Mahase

Founder/Director, Support Autism T&T