Ms Overdo encourages people to ‘Go seek your light’

YOU either remain a victim, or become a victor.

This is the advice serial entrepreneur, motivational speaker and domestic violence survivor Rachael Darlene "Ms Overdo" Nedd had for people who are struggling with navigating and overcoming life’s hardships.

Nedd is set to embark on her latest and most ambitious endeavour yet – hosting a motivational seminar, Go Seek Your Light – where she intends to share her story and give her patrons all the tools they need to empower them to find and maximise their God-given purpose.

“I grew up seeing my mummy try to make ends meet and I knew there must be some way to crack the code. A lot of us become stuck. We blame negative circumstances and that’s the only reason we are not successful. But I think in spite of your circumstances, you can be successful.”

Now, at the helm of three successful businesses – Darlene’s hair and cosmetics store, Glow Up TT and Ms Overdo Clothing Store – which employs 13 people, Nedd, who also commands a combined social media presence of almost 40,000 followers believes she has indeed cracked the code.

And, the 35-year-old plans to bare it all at her upcoming seminar – revealing her childhood trauma, business failures, and the physical abuse she endured from the man she loved, all of which she credits as a catalyst for her becoming the woman she is today.

With her story, Nedd hopes to motivate others to realise that they too can do the very same.

Hardship from young

Nedd had an early introduction to what she described as a very hard life growing up with her then 15-year-old mother whom she said at that time, was ill-equipped to handle the daunting responsibility that is motherhood, especially with no help from her father and little support from family.

“From young I knew hardship. When she got pregnant my grandmother kicked her out and we went to live by an aunt. But it doesn’t matter where you go to live when your house is not home…Especially since not everybody is filled with the love of God.”

Nedd recalled living in over 13 apartments and attending four primary schools over the years. Her mother eventually got a stable job as a police officer but with no father in the picture, was forced to be absent from home a lot working to provide for them both.

This, she said, prompted her to grow up fast.

“With mum not there I had to cook, wash, learn to get myself dressed, lock up the house etc. I grew really quick. I had a lot of experience at a young age.”

Yearning for her father to play an active role in her life Nedd said she was left with abandonment issues.

“He would say he is coming for me and I would pack my bag and he would never show up. So, it left me with a lot of abandonment issues. I used to feel unwanted and unloved a lot! Mummy was trying to make ends meet and my dad was not there.”

Nedd credited her mother with giving her the drive to succeed, saying, “I got introduced to business at a young age. I used to sell on the pavement with my mum so from a teenager I knew I wanted to do my own thing.”

“Seeing her make it happen by any means necessary, my mind also made it happen by any means necessary. I became very independent at a young age.”

Intent on becoming her own boss, at age 25 with $800 Nedd launched her first business selling hair. However, due to poor money management, the business went downhill.

“I messed up everything. I started to weigh my options because I did not want to go back and work for people and be a part of the system. I already had the gift but I needed to learn to manage the gift.

“I could sell anything. If you have something and you want it sold I could sell it for you. You have to have discipline for the gift to carry you where you need to go. I went down to zero and I ended up bringing myself back up.”

After going back to the drawing board and successfully relaunching her business using the knowledge she accrued, Nedd said she was overjoyed and quickly went to work expanding her empire. By age 30, Nedd was thriving in business, but life was about to throw another curve ball her way.

When love bombs

With her businesses doing well and a newly minted engagement Nedd said she seemed like she was happy living her best life to those looking in. However, she revealed her life was no bed of roses and to her horror at that time, her harsh reality was about to be exposed.

Her fiance started physically abusing her ultimately leading to her spending two days in the hospital.

“It was bad. I was in the hospital. The doctors said I wouldn’t be able to see again. My nose bridge moved…my face was battered.”

Nedd said images of her battered face were leaked to social media which she said caused her mental health to spiral, leading to crippling depression.

“I hid for some weeks. I was lying down in bed crying and asked God what I did to deserve this.”

She said after beseeching God, she realised that it was either she remained a victim or became a victor. So, she chose to be a victor.

Putting God first, Nedd decided to start therapy which she said helped her to unpack and put to bed her childhood trauma and subsequently begin healing from the domestic violence she endured which wreaked physical, emotional and mental havoc on her.

“From going to therapy I realised my abandonment issues. The person I fell in love with, he would love bomb me, he would buy me anything I could think about. He would show up for me. I realised the broken child in me was so disappointed that my parents weren’t there that even though he was being physically abusive I believed he showed up for me.

“My friends and family would talk to me but they didn’t understand the void. I was looking normal outside, doing business and appearing successful but why was I holding on to somebody who hurt me. He was giving me what my inner child was dying to have – attention, acknowledgement, and affirmation.

“I started to develop my relationship with God, I started praying and going to church. The bible tells you that he is a father to the fatherless. So I started feeling less empty and a little more full.”

Nedd said she was ignorant to the plight domestic violence victims endured but it changed after she experienced it herself.

“People would walk up to me and say they saw pictures of my face on Facebook and Instagram. It wasn’t like I hit myself so I was angry at first, then I came to understand how abuse works. It started off with a shove and a push and then they would jack you up. Then they would shove you in your head and then it’s a slap.”

Nedd who is now happily married said there are a lot of factors that can cause people to stay in abusive relationships, but she advised women to fall in love with themselves so they could get the strength to leave.

“Sometimes it’s your children, sometimes you getting acknowledgement and affirmation. Yes, they are abusive but whatever you are hungry for they feed it to you. You have to fall in love with yourself because the love you are seeking from them is why you are staying there. You have to see yourself for what you are worth. Not everybody could afford therapy but you can Google signs of a narcissist, Google signs of an abusive partner, Google signs of abandonment issues.”

Living my truth

She said a lot of women have since reached out to her and were motivated to leave their abusive partners as a result. It wasn’t long before Nedd realised that in addition to her entrepreneurial acumen, she had a gift for motivating people and helping them to maximise their potential and live full lives.

“That experience removed my pride and helped me to start living my real life. Living in my truth. I started to show people what I had to offer.”

As Nedd tapped into her new-found passion for motivational speaking, she said more and more people began reaching out to her asking for advice. It wasn’t long after that people started showing up at her stores seeking advice.

“People would share their stories and I would advise them. In a couple of months they would visit the store to tell me, ‘Aye girl you know I opened my business?’, or ‘I take my children and I moved out or I paid off my debt.’ I was also like over $300,000 in debt and I was able to pay off my debt and buy my own home. I am very real so telling them of that experience helped motivate them too.”

Nedd had this advice for people who want to open a business but for whatever reasons, are struggling to take a leap of faith to do it.

“The fact that it is taking up space in your mind means that it needs to be birthed. We always thinking about how and not why God placed it in your spirit. Forget the how and focus on the why and you will become successful. As you think about how, you will get sidetracked and deterred.

“You have to take the risk. Don’t think about what you have to lose, instead think about what you could gain.”

Nedd said at her seminar she plans on teaching people how to better cope with the negative things that happen to them.

“I want to identify the root of the problem and uncover how to deal with it. I think learning coping skills is a huge thing. People would ask me if I don’t get sad and I tell them that negative things happen but God does bless me everyday. If two negative things happen and 18 positive things, then why would I dwell on the negative? So basically it’s about treating your mind or making a shift in your mind to stop putting negativity in front.”

Nedd’s seminar will take place at the Bishop Anstey High School and Trincity College East Auditorium from 1-6 pm on January 1. The event will feature other motivational guest speakers including leadership and growth coach Dr Luke Quamina, life coach and financial expert Cherrise Haynes, and award-winning gospel recording artiste Jaron Nurse.

For information contact: 477-8677 | 763-3635 | 763-1659 or Instagram: @ msoverdo. For media enquiries email: onepinkpen@yahoo.com