Power of duality: Leadership not about being in charge

Desree Jack

Dear AFETT,

Growing up, I was always chosen to be the group leader for projects. Now, as an adult, I am often placed in charge of people and things.

While I enjoy leading, I sometimes wish to switch off and escape the responsibility.

How do I balance this inherent gift of leadership with my desire to step back occasionally?

Dear Reader,

Your question resonates deeply with me, almost as if I had written it myself.

My upbringing as the daughter of a minister of religion introduced me to leadership at an early age. From Sunday school to the youth department, spearheading church events and assisting in various ministries, leadership was woven into the fabric of my life.

As I transitioned into the corporate world, my natural inclination towards leadership continued to open doors for me.

Yet this very ability sometimes felt like a burden, manifesting as performance punishment rather than praise.

In hindsight, I realise that my early exposure to leadership was instrumental in shaping my approach today. It taught me that effective leadership isn’t about manipulating control but about stepping back, empowering others and trusting your team to carry out the vision.

Leadership is not about being at the forefront all the time, it’s about inspiring others to take initiative and ownership.

This understanding has allowed me to take joy in relinquishing control and avoiding micromanagement, ultimately fostering a more empowered and motivated team.

Strength of a born leader

One of my mentors always emphasised that leadership is nuanced. It is not one-size-fits-all.

It requires more than a title, it demands vision, decisiveness and the ability to inspire others.

I recall a formative experience early in my career when I was hired for a one-month role as a receptionist. Despite the job’s modest nature, I approached it with a leadership mindset.

At the end of the month, my dedication led to a new opportunity – I was offered the position of CEO’s assistant.

This reinforced a crucial formative lesson – leadership is reflected in how you carry yourself and the impact you make, regardless of your title or salary. Money does not equate to class.

True leadership is about your actions and the influence you wield.

Weight of responsibili-TEA

Leadership, while rewarding, can be incredibly demanding.

One of my father’s famous sayings is, "Responsibili-TEA is one hot drink that never cools."

Sounds silly, right? Probably even made you chuckle.

But when you think of that in relation to leadership – the constant pressure to be in control and make decisions that lead to exhaustion and burnout – it’s not far-fetched.

I’ve experienced moments where the weight of responsibili-TEA felt overwhelming and stepping back seemed like the only respite.

Impostor syndrome and fear of not meeting expectations are common challenges we face as leaders.

Recognising when you’re overextended is crucial, as unchecked stress brings intrusive thoughts that erode your mental health and effectiveness.

Simon Sinek aptly states, "Leadership is not about being in charge. It’s about taking care of those in your charge." This includes taking care of yourself.

To sustain leadership capabilities, we must balance responsibilities with self-care.

Effective leaders understand delegation – not as relinquishing responsibility – but empowering others while lightening their load.

Embracing vulnerability

Conversely, a critical aspect of effective leadership is embracing vulnerability.

There was a time in my career when managing the budget for an event became overwhelming. Despite my leadership role, financial management was not my strength.

Acknowledging this, I decided to delegate the financial responsibilities to a colleague who excelled in that area.

This decision not only improved our financial outcomes, but also provided an opportunity for my colleague to grow in her role.

According to another mentor, understanding my "fifth why" helped me recognise when to delegate and allowed others to shine: a true sign of strength, not weakness.

It demonstrates trust, it is useful to empower your team while focusing on your own areas of expertise.

This approach not only alleviates personal stress but also helps in nurturing the skills and confidence of your team members.

Balancing act: Strategies for sustainable leadership

It is pertinent that you understand that leadership entails immense responsibility, but no one can shoulder it alone.

In the book Leadership and Women in Statistics (2016), Goldbeck et al declare that delegation is delicate.

To lead effectively and sustainably, it’s essential to prioritise your well-being and strategically step back.

Delegating tasks, setting clear boundaries between work and personal life and embracing a coaching role are fundamental to maintaining balance.

Establishing regular routines for relaxation, exercise and mindfulness can significantly enhance your leadership effectiveness.

Stephen Covey’s advice to "sharpen the saw" underscores the importance of taking time to recharge and focus on long-term strategy rather than daily operations.

Leaders who invest in their well-being and delegate effectively are better equipped to remain focused, clear-headed and purposeful in their roles.

Regular self-care practices and strategic delegation are not indulgent but necessary for sustaining the energy and clarity required for effective leadership.

A call to action

Ultimately, the essence of leadership lies in balancing strength and vulnerability. Embracing both creates an environment where you and your team can thrive.

As you navigate leadership's complexities, reflect on your journey – leverage your strengths, but don’t hesitate to step back and recharge.

Letting others lead reminds us that leadership isn’t solitary, it’s about fostering a space where everyone can excel.

This not only benefits you but enhances your leadership effectiveness.

True leadership thrives in guiding others while allowing them to grow.

Embrace this duality for a more sustainable, future-ready fulfilling path.

This article was submitted by the Association of Female Executives of TT (AFETT).

AFETT is a non-profit organisation formed in 2002 with the goal of bringing together professional women and engaging in networking opportunities, training and business development.

Ask AFETT is brought to you by the Research and Public Advocacy team and addresses issues and concerns of executive and entrepreneurial professionals.