Jessica Gopaul addresses abuse in book of poems

First-time author Jessica Gopaul is hoping her book of poems can effectively deliver a message to readers – that one's past does not define one’s worth, and healing and resilience are possible.

Gopaul, 24, from Penal, launched the self-published book, Annie, in August, and told WMN her motivation for writing Annie stems from a desire to raise awareness of important issues and to empower women and girls.

The launch of Annie was marked by an online event that showcased her website, which includes an analysis of the book and her Gopaul’s biography. The event also featured a photoshoot that marked the beginning of Gopaul’s journey as an author.

The book tells a story through a series of poems about a woman called Annie who was abused at an early age by a man she considered a father. She then faces instances in her life where she is a victim of loss, loneliness, love, self-actualisation, depression and insecurities. The poems are told from different perspectives.

“The flow of the story begins with the poem The Sin; this is where Annie’s mother is a victim of rape and Annie is born. It is the origin of what society calls a 'generational curse,'

"Poems such as Demons, Teacher, and Epiphany of Tobacco describe Annie’s experiences in her childhood.

"The poem Annie is a pivotal point where Annie’s mother’s injustice gets inflicted upon Annie like a curse.

"One can notice steps through each poem that Annie goes through a process of self-actualisation and it is not easy, as she experiences emotional and mental turmoil to accept her past experiences, present circumstances and to realise her future. Self-Actualisation, which Annie faces, represents a concept derived from humanistic psychological theory and specifically, from the theory created by Abraham Maslow. It is where a person becomes the best version of themselves and develops an appreciation for life,” Gopaul said.

The response to Annie has been overwhelmingly positive, she said, and she was praised for her bravery in addressing such important and sensitive topics. Her alma mater, ASJA Girls’ College, Barrackpore, has been exceptionally supportive, inviting her to address students on the Day of Non-Violence and to do readings from her book on September 21.

“I grew up in a community seeing women being abused and then ridiculed by the very same community and they would get into an ensnared cycle and believe that all their life, an abused woman is the person they will be forever. It was a norm and the husbands were seen as successful men to have dominated their wives and be the man of the house.

"I also grew up hearing disturbing stories where girls are raped by the men in their households and where parents preached caution to their daughters to be safe and vigilant," Gopaul said of the reason she decided to write the book.

"Upon doing research for my communications SBA in 2016, I chose the topic of abuse and I realised that it is one of the many social phenomena which still persist today. Many NGOs and organisations have tried and are still trying to spread awareness of abuse but it still happens.

"I started thinking about, if I was to be abused today or tomorrow, would there be a society ready to resuscitate me and remind me of the strong woman I am and what I can achieve, or will I be defined by my past and be ridiculed? Will I be thrown into a jungle like a strange animal to impotently partake in survival of the fittest?"

She said women are walking around with so much pain, that their bodies have become vessels to negative energies.

"How can they realise the full potential of themselves, especially young girls who have been abused and have no one, and they end up in the homes/shelters? How can they reach the stage of self-actualisation when all the previous stages are challenges to them because they have been abused: sexually, physically, emotionally?

"They need to mentally emancipate (themselves) from their past pains that they hold inside them brewing a storm.

"My book will not solve abuse, but it can be used as a tool for awareness.”

Gopaul is determined to inspire both children and adults through her writing, and envisions herself writing a diverse range of books across various genres, with a goal of completing at least 20 by the time she turns 30.

The journey to Annie was a long one for Gopaul. Many of the poems in the book were written during her high school years, when she won several competitions. But it wasn't until 2022 that she decided to compile these poems into a book. Annie is her most cherished accomplishment to date.

Gopaul won the People’s Choice Award in a Nalis poetry competition titled, 'Tis de Season for Six Feet of Parang.

She credits her alma mater, her family, friends, loved ones and the strong female presence of her teachers for inspiring and supporting her. She firmly believes in the power of education and is a dedicated educator herself.

She has a vision for women and girls: a comprehensive educational programme that addresses critical issues such as abuse, self-worth, resilience, and mental health. Her dream is for women to be valued and supported by society, breaking free from the shackles of societal curses.

When it comes to helping victims of domestic violence and abuse, Gopaul believes in providing guidance on acceptance and resilience and creating a community that is supportive.

“Abuse comes in many forms,” she said, “and sometimes persons need that support to come forward. They also need persons who are willing to stand for them and realise that their situation is one that is a threat. Offering mental health services and self-development activities can aid in the recovery process and help victims regain control of their lives.”

Asked what part of the book she holds close to her heart and why, she said poem nine, The Sin, "because as women we are told to be careful in society. However, we become victims of rape, etcetera, and this can have detrimental effects on someone mentally and emotionally. The woman may become pregnant and keep the child and pray that the child will have everything they never had and grow up safe.

"Sadly, sometimes their children become victims to the same ill fate they succumbed to and it's tragic. Annie’s mother was raped and had Annie at a young age.

"In the poem, told through the perspective of Annie, she refers to herself as 'a sin.' Can you imagine a child saying that he/she is a sin and they are the outcome of the injustice done to their mother? This can be seen in several lines of the poem quoted:

“I am the Sin that will return every penny

And keep the tears that keeps overflowing from her tear duct.

Because I am a Sin with a mind-set that will deduct my mother’s pain

And fright of me, a little flower about to

Bloom in this world called society.”

Asked if she has any advice for women, Gopaul said, “I would like to say that your pasts do not define you. You may find yourself in situations that cause you pain, but sometimes we need to feel pain to remove ourselves from those situations. We are resilient and have value. Being beautiful isn’t physical, it's the confidence you radiate.

"I would like to quote the last page of my book:

"When you walk into the room

Walk into it with confidence

And let the earth beneath you

Send tremors and alert the

Naysayers that you’ve

Arrived. Confidence is beauty

Wear it with pride, it’s the only

Way to survive!”

Annie is available at Unique bookstores in Trinidad, including Penal, Siparia, San Fernando and Chaguanas.