Love with logic

In a Mother's Day tribute, JENSEN LA VENDE profiles Rosalind Amon on raising two daughters – an astrophysicist and deep sea specialist – by being an example of success through hard work.

WITH limitless love and logic, Rosalind Amon nurtured her daughters into becoming doctors of the "sea and stars".

Her first born, Diva, 32, is a deep sea specialist currently in South Africa while, Alexandra, 28, is an astrophysicist in the US.

“I have one child living in the depths of the ocean in darkness and weird creatures, and the other living up there where planets are born," Amon laughed, as she spoke of their accomplishments.

Amon said she and ex-husband, Paul Amon, had no magic tricks on raising two daughters who each can claim to be the among the first from TT in their fields.

“Limitless love is the fuel that will make a child believe they can conquer anything. That’s it! There is no magic. No handbook.”

In an interview at her Fairview Drive, Moka, Maraval home, the proud mother shared how her own upbringing influenced how she helped her daughters.

The first of five children, Amon grew up in Gasparillo with her paternal grandmother, Chintee Leladharsingh. Her parents had a rocky relationship fuelled by alcohol and abuse and she vowed to never let that be a part of her family. Her grandmother showed her the importance of work and independence as she began selling in the family’s parlour. Amon said she never hid from her daughters the hard work she did as a child and never shielded them from the family’s struggles growing up either.

Amon started her career as a banker in 1973, before becoming a flight attendant four years later. She went on to spend 30 years at British West Indian Airways (BWIA). As a flight attendant, she missed events she wanted to be at to support her children. One Christmas, she recalled, her husband had to tell their daughters how mummy had to fly to Toronto because it was Christmas eve, after another flight attendant called in sick.

A boat building company, which she and her husband managed, also meant they had to spend many long hours working.

“I worked 34 hours a day,” she said of how her daughters saw, through her and their father, that hard work was required for success.

This lesson was engrained into her by her grandmother whose mantra became her own: “If you are going to do something, do it properly or not at all.”

Also, as parents they did not believe in corporal punishment, so to keep their daughters in line, Amon said she used "bribes". She laughed heartily, recalling how she promised her daughters candy and treats if they read their books and reported to her what they learnt.

“A little bribe work. I was always on a deadline, those little bribes got me the results I needed and when they misbehaved I took away certain perks,” Amon said, adding that she was not regarded as "sweet mummy" all the time as her daughters would refer to her as “the dragon” when they got on her wrong side.

Amon stressed that mothers should give their children limitless love, with logic. The logic, she said, was knowing when to say yes, and when to say no.

Her first born, Diva, was talked out of becoming a medical doctor after Amon told her she felt doctors were sad people. Instead, she earned her doctoral degree in marine biology. “I did not envision the profession for her,” Amon said. However, she understands why Diva chose this path having grown up with a father who sailed and, she had also shown her as many sea creatures as she could on their trips to the beach.

“Your baby and your child look at every single movement and action, in other words, I was their classroom. My life became their classroom when they were growing up. They learnt limitless love, but with logic. They may be big and grown now with doctorates and so, but I will still say, no, and they will listen.”

As for her second daughter, Amon said she was at first expecting a boy, based on an ultrasound, and had chosen the name Alexander – which became Alexandra when the baby, a girl, was born.

At five, Alexandra said she wanted to be astronaut while on a family vacation at Disney World, Orlando. Her dream was crushed after she fell ill in the UK and learned her condition did not allow her to become an astronaut. This did not stop Alexandra from being among the stars and she continued her studies in astrology.

“She was always headstrong, there was never any stopping her. She had her sights on becoming an astronaut. Now she is looking for dark matter in distant galaxies, that is her project,” said Amon. “That child is unique, amidst all her illness she never deviated.”

Amon credits her children's achievements to the foundation from her grandmother, her husband and the proven adage that it takes a village to raise a child.

She said she considers herself an “open-minded parent” and that contributed to accepting life's paths of her children.

Amon, who was diagnosed with breast cancer over a year ago, stopped chemotherapy last September, and went on to take part in the annual cancer walk in October.

Her resilience, she said, came from her family and she in turn passed that on to her daughters – Drs Diva and Alexandra.