The critical role of somatic sex education

By ONIKA HENRY

A few months ago, I wrote about the critical role somatic sex education (SSE) plays in sexual healing, wholeness and wellness. Somatic sex educators teach through body-based experiences designed to nurture, deepen or awaken the sensual self. This kind of sex education goes beyond ‘talk’ and combines interpersonal neurobiology with anatomical knowledge, touch skills, and practices to empower choice and voice. The goal is to guide clients in using the most effective tools for liberating themselves from the ongoing effects of sexual trauma, neglect, limiting beliefs and sexual dysfunctions.

SSE vs other body-based healing modalities

SSE is not the first field to include body-based approaches in healing and therapeutic environments. Fields like bioenergetic analysis, body psychotherapy, somatic experiencing, sensorimotor psychotherapy, massage therapy, Hakomi, bodynamics and others have all placed particular attention on the body. However, what all of these modalities have in common is an avoidance of and lack of attention to sexuality and the genitals. Even professional massage therapy avoided the genital area. In this sense these, healing modalities have become disembodied.

Those of us in the somatic sexology field, often refer to these modalities as The Donut Therapy. This is a metaphor for these fields since their therapeutic approach has focused on everything else about a person but not their genitals. The genitals/sexuality/sensuality/desire are left invisible and unattended. Yet our genitals, sexuality, sensuality and desire are an essential part of our humanity. It is our life force energy. This is where SSE and sexological body work comes into the picture.

As somatic sex educators, we are bringing the whole body into the picture and we are including the genitals. In doing so, we can support people to engage in conversation that includes every aspect of themselves. Clients can feel that their sensations of pleasure and arousal are welcome. This sense of allowing deepens client’s experiences of themselves. They can talk about their sensual and erotic experiences if they choose to.

Although SSE can include touch and touch of the genitals, that is not the goal. The intention is to support the unfolding and perhaps even the expansion of pleasure and sensation in the body that includes the genitals, desire and arousal in a non-shaming, non-judgemental and supportive way. When we are given safe enough space and permission to speak to our desires, sensations, and thoughts and feelings, an even deeper conversation can emerge. In this sense, treatment becomes more complete. Embodiment becomes possible.

SSE and trauma

SSE is grounded in the science of neuroplasticity and informed by polyvagal theory. The modality is trauma-informed, and able to embrace the incredible diversity of neurology, gender and gender expression, with awareness of the impact of the dominant or normative culture and privilege on people’s access to sexual expression.

According to psychiatrist Dr Bessel van Der Kolk, there are three ways to help the brain and nervous system heal and reverse damage done through trauma. They are “Top down, by talking, (re-)connecting with others and allowing ourselves to know and understand what is going on with us, while processing the memories. By taking medicines that shut down inappropriate alarm reactions; or by using other technologies that change the way the brain organises information. And bottom up: by allowing the body to have experiences that deeply and viscerally contradict the helplessness, rage, or collapse that results from trauma.”

SSE as a trauma-informed modality, has tools for each of the three avenues identified by Dr van Der Kolk. These tools correspond to physical, emotional, mental and spiritual components of sexuality. SSE offers experiential learning opportunities which help one engage in a respectful dialogue with the autonomic nervous system, so that physical and emotional processes that happen to us can be held in mindful awareness, and transformed. Our feelings/emotions and moods – love, fear, excitement, relaxation, arousal, happiness, reverence and ecstasy – all have biochemical and physiological components that can be regulated, with training and conscious practice over time. This is what somatic education offers.

How SSE can help other professionals

If you are a medical professional, mental health professional, physiotherapist, chiropractor, massage therapist, health and wellness coach, public health consultant and even an educator, collaborating with or referring to a somatic sex educator can improve your ability to help your patients, clients and students. SSE’s can help them learn about their bodies in a pleasurable way, internal or external, and to take ownership of their own sexuality and sensuality. This is a tremendous resource, and helpful for healing pain. Many SSEs are willing to consult, talk/collaborate with a therapist, medical professional, physiotherapist or others in the wellness field, who refers a client – with careful attention to doing so only at the invitation of the client.

What SSE adds

My colleagues in the field have put together the following list (and the information you will see in Part 2 of this article), which identifies what SSEs can specifically provide to patients and clients:

● Support to overcome a sexual difficulty or to expand capacity for pleasure when the learning must take place in the body.

● Help clients learn what “yes”, “no” and “maybe” feel like in the body. Problems exist when people don’t have choice around the boundaries they set, often as a result of trauma with boundary violations.

● Practice in embodied communication, including consent, boundary setting, noticing what desires feel like in the body and expressing them.

● Help clients learn to touch their bodies in a pleasurable way, and to take ownership of their own sexuality and sensuality

● Provide techniques and exercises when talk therapy or clinical touch are not providing the benefits the client or patient desires.

● Somatic Sex education helps re-calibrate our nervous system and can be effective for trauma recovery, reconnection with body awareness, which can expand the possibilities for desire, joy and ecstasy to be more present in every day experience.

In my next article, I will go into more details of the specific concerns that SSEs can help with, as well as what working and collaborating with us can look like.

Onika Henry is a Tobago-based, trained sex educator and a certified sex coach. She designs and implements workshops, training, and psycho-educational counselling, to address sexual health concerns.

Website: https://onikahenry.com

Facebook: O’Henry Consultancy

Contact: 381-304