Big men can cry: Garth Voisin offers mental health coaching for Caribbean men

WHAT started as a few posts on social media years ago has evolved into a series of discussions geared towards improving the mental health of Caribbean men.

Garth Voisin said the idea behind The Dear Men Project was to let men know they were not the only one experiencing issues, that others could relate and they could get help.

Hence the slogan: Building a bridge between Caribbean men and themselves, and by extension those people who love them.

He posted tips, quotes, and positive and motivational messages on social media and people messaged him privately to express themselves, tell him their experiences or ask for advice, and he would coach them.

“A little bit before covid there was a period of time where I had a lot of stuff happening. Then around covid time there was a lot of isolation, so it was something to help men be able to communicate effectively about how they felt about stuff and things they don’t normally talk about.”

Voisin, 47, said when he was growing up in Arima he did not feel there was a space for him to say certain things. He was introduced to journalling by his younger sister and the practice served him well throughout his life, helping him cope with various situations including his move to the US as well as his career transitions and relationships.

He said he will always be grateful to her for that as it also helped him to help others.

Then, when he was having difficulties, he talked to other men and realised he was not the only one with similar issues. So during the isolation of the pandemic lockdown, he wondered how many men felt alone because they were not sharing the things they were experiencing.

Realising the importance of being both physically and mentally fit, he started sharing.

“I was just creating that space for men to reach out. Because normally, when they see the stuff that I do, they don't think I'm open enough to have the conversation.

“So I have to show a form of vulnerability that's not a weakness, but a space you could feel safe enough to share your feelings about something and not be judged or looked at in a weird way, or as less than a man.”

He said men often got distracted with the things society said they were or were not supposed to be, so they did not identify who they were as men or as individuals.

Caribbean boys were also taught to hide their feels or to “man up” rather than communicate. He said telling boys “big men don’t cry” conditioned them to believe no one cared about their difficulties and they just had to keep going for fear of being judged. That culture often spread to other aspects of their lives including work and relationships.

He said he was not trying to change the culture but some moderation should be introduced. He said if they did not want to or could not afford to go to therapy, they should be told there were other alternatives – consistent ones that show real concern rather than a token effort.

Voison’s first attempt at doing so was several years ago when he did a local TV programme for men called The Fellas. The talk show had eight episodes but he was not able to do a second season.

He decided 2024 would be “a year of impact.” So he conceived eight episodes of The Dear Men Project similar to The Fellas. The guests, who were already lined up, would include a doctor, entrepreneurs and people in the health and fitness field.

The idea was to learn about the challenges they faced and get past the person’s job or title to the relatable people they were.

He is currently looking for sponsorship to support production.

“I think we have an issue where we're not as consistent when it comes to doing stuff for the men. So I wanted to be the consistency factor and also relatable.

“The premise behind the show is to have conversations with people about things like men's mental health, fitness, relationships, work/life balance, how to deal with rejection, spiritual health, grooming – just the things we hardly ever talk about.

“I don't want it to be just about finance or business. I don't want it to be just about physical fitness. I wanted it to be a collection of topics where there could be something for everyone.”

He said he wanted to start creating a cultural shift on how men are viewed and how they view themselves at home in TT, and then go to other Caribbean countries.

He also hoped the programme would lead to more ventures like workshops and panel discussions, to create more awareness of the things men go through and how mental health was connected to TT having the third highest suicide rate in the English-speaking Caribbean as well as crime.

He said there were communities in which there were no mentors for younger men. They grew up thinking crime was okay and had a sense of hopelessness believing they had no other options. They were conditioned by the older men in the community to believe that.

Voisin wanted to let them know someone cared, give them a sense of confidence and give them alternatives.

“Mental health plays a part. Because there's a frustration that comes when you can't provide. There's a frustration that comes when you feel as though you have to be a certain type of way to fit into a certain type of group or crowd.

“And actions start in your mind. So if we could create something different for them, where they see other alternatives, I think it would help them to find a different path or understand they need to change their environment or mindset a bit.”

Based in Los Angeles and New York, Voisin left TT for Atlanta, Georgia in 2000. He said he left because he wanted to make a better life for his family which, at that time, included his son, sister and parents. He has since added two daughters to his family and they are all proud and supportive of him.

He got certified in personal training in 2011, travelled with clients and managed several gyms. He had a lot of conversations with his clients, helping them grow and make a difference in their lives.

As a result, life coaching felt like the natural next step, so he got certified in Atlanta in 2015.

In 2017 he started visiting schools in TT when he came home, to talk to and motivate the students. He was also the brand ambassador for a health and nutrition product company for two years.

He is the author of several books including My Thoughts on the Way Over and The Journey Continues...Evolve! They are compilations of his journals and thoughts over several years – motivational books with sections in which people could write their thoughts.

He said it was a way for people to work on themselves and allow them to see how far they had come.

He is now the co-owner of 2 Percent Inc, an all-natural skincare company with a line of products for men in an effort to promote more self-care among them.