Be a cycle-breaker of violence

We live in a patriarchal world, but the majority of victims of violence are males.

This is one of the reasons for the observance of the International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Men and Boys (IDEVAMB) on January 31.

The theme for 2025 is Breaking the stigma: Reporting Violence against Males.

During the past two decades, boys and men have been experiencing more verbal, sexual, physical, emotional and psychological abuse. Unfortunately, these incidents are not being reported and this results in dysfunctional peopleand unhealed wounds.

In TT, there has been ongoing violence against males. For instance, on November 18, 2015, the headline in the Express newspaper was – Boy, 12, forced to drink disinfectant by classmates. The horrible incident was a result of bullying in a primary school in San Fernando.

This male violence also occurs globally. In November 2024, the Archbishop of Canterbury, Justin Welby, head of the Church of England, had to resign because he failed to report the abuse of more than 100 men and boys. This traumatic abuse occurred during the 1970s and 1980s at a boarding school and Christian camp.

We must search for solutions to end violence in our communities. Let us be cycle-breakers and end the painful cycles of violence. Let us save males from this global crisis.

Why is IDEVAMB needed in every country?

Firstly, because statistics of violent acts such as suicides are highest among males. The rise of male victimisation is a cause of concern. More advocates and experts are needed to support survivors and victims.

Secondly, men and others in society realise "masculinity" is under attack. Some people were wrongly accusing men of being violent and thus "toxic."

Thirdly, governments and others were realising the dangers of violence against men in homes and at work.

Each one of us has an important role of identifying and breaking that cycle of violence.

Indeed, an unhealthy and violent atmosphere at home will make boys more eager to go to school, which provides that safe area, that elusive space of peace. If parents argue at home or mistreat a boy, then it's only natural that he will be rebellious and disobedient.

Similarly, if the boy experiences violence or is bullied at school, there would be a reluctance to attend school. The urgent question to address: can we ensure that both school and home are safe zones and peaceful spaces?

We need a recipe to create mature, diligent and reliable boys. We need to promote non-violence as a suitable alternative.

Differences in culture, literacy, religion and geographical location have all posed problems in moving boys and men to safe zones in society. We must continue to find that elusive safety zone that will help them. We need to ensure males exist and work in a peaceful and stable environment, promote a safe home and encourage creativity. Victims of violence must be taught to develop communication channels to share problems to overcome the trauma. Where are the intervention programmes to help adolescent males?

It's hard to disagree when I write that many of our boys are misunderstood and the teenage journey is a nightmare. We need to ensure males can envision a society in which they are treated equally and be rescued from violence.

We need to work with our boys to allow them to achieve their goals. We can't believe that hugging and showing affection will make our boys soft or effeminate. If we don't hug our boys, then the wrong people will hug them, and then it will be too late. Do we want our boys to find role models among criminal gangs? Certainly not.

We must promise to be on that journey with our boys. No boy will be left behind. The normal, abnormal, slow and intelligent students will share this world and live in peace and happiness.

Let us remember our male friends and relatives, brothers, fathers and sons who are unable to report abuse and violence. Let us find ways to protect the vulnerable boys and voiceless men.

The Office of the Prime Minister's Gender and Child Affairs division must be commended for launching the Men’s Bureau of TT in November 2024. One of the goals of this bureau is to create safe spaces for men and boys.

Supporters of IDEVAMB want men who are world leaders to end useless conflicts.

For IDEVAMB, I want males to put aside their differences and unite to create a future without bloodshed, hate and pain.