The socially excluded teen

Dr Asha Pemberton

Teenhealth.tt@gmail.com

WHEN WE consider the importance of social connection and peer relations to healthy adolescent development, we can equally recognise the impact of social isolation to their mental and emotional well-being.

While many young people will have more introverted personalities and do not seek extensive social connections, those who do but experience social isolation often experience loneliness, anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, and declining academic performance.

Bullying is a principal cause of social exclusion. It is important to note that it is not the only common cause. Children and adolescents who experience significant family disruption or dysfunction also struggle with social connections.

When young people witness and live through tempestuous relationships between parents they can struggle with communication skills or emotional bonding required to make and sustain healthy relationships or friendships.

In addition, through lives of disruption, they may not be offered the opportunities to connect with peers through extra-curricular activities or social events, which further delay their social abilities.

The extensive connection to technology is another main cause of social disruption in our current context. There are children and young people who were introduced to social media and gaming at very young ages. For some, these platforms have completely taken the place of in-person communication and relationships.

Many young people even boast about having more friends online than in person. Neither they nor their parents recognise how this deficit can challenge their future development and lives.

When forced to interact at school and beyond, such children struggle. They demonstrate difficulties in understanding social nuance, are unclear about the boundaries of humour, and sometimes simply do not “get” the gist of non-verbal communication.

The only remedy is safe and consistent introduction to peers and skills building.

Neurodiverse young people, by virtue of their social and neurological differences, will very frequently have challenges connecting with others. Young people, whether officially diagnosed with autism spectrum and other disorders or not, typically experience some measure of social exclusion.

Unless active and sustained interventions are made by their parents and families to provide not only specific skills, but a nurturing environment for them to connect with others, these young people struggle and usually do not understand why.

In these contexts, young people often enjoy the company of either older or younger people. They have difficulties with the culture of their generation. For some the less intense interactions of younger children is more engaging and less stressful, while for others, interacting with adults is easier as adults are able to understand their differences and adapt their language appropriately.

In all contexts, parents are encouraged to remain mindful to the social connections of their young people and elucidate possible causes if challenges occur. Social relationships require skills, opportunities and time to develop.

We all learn from the ups and downs of interpersonal dynamics. The more tweens and teens are provided with opportunities to learn and connect, the better they become at understanding the skills required to support social development.