Sasha Hosein-Gulston: 'Never give up on your children'

For over two decades Sasha Hosein-Gulston has been a pillar in the Newsday newsroom.

As an administrative assistant, her workdays are just as hectic as those of the journalists with whom she works.

But even with all the phone calls, processing of documents, keeping track of who needs what and the million things she is required to do, she still finds time to check in on her children every single day.

“Even though I gave birth to three sons, I always tell people I have six children, because I parented my younger siblings,” she told WMN. Her sons are 23, 19 and 11.

Hosein-Gulston began working at the paper as the PBX operator when she was in her 20s. Now 46, she said her experience of trying to strike a balance between being a full-time employee and motherhood when she had her first son is not much different from the way it is today.

“It didn’t get any easier with time, and with the age gap between my second son and my last it was like starting all over again…Balancing a daily job and having to be a parent is quite a responsibility,” she said – one that she doesn't take lightly.

Her youngest son is preparing to do the SEA exam next year, which she said is another challenge by itself because she always has to make sure he keeps on top of his work. And even though the other two are old enough to legally leave the nest and take care of themselves, the nurturing trait that dictates how a mother operates sometimes refuses to allow her to grant them complete independence.

“Because although they are adults, to me they will always be babies…When I go home I’m a wife, a teacher, I make sure all of them, even the big ones, are in order. But they do assist me.

"Being a parent isn’t easy because it’s something you have to do whether you feel well or not, and it doesn’t come with a manual.”

But even with all its challenges, Hosein-Gulston said when she looks at the young men she is raising and their accomplishments, she knows if she had to, she would choose motherhood all over again, and do it in exactly the same way.

“My children never did and still don’t give me any trouble, well at least nothing major, and I feel proud of them and I’m proud of the job I did as a mother.”

Her parenting method, as loving and gentle as it is, also includes straight talk and discipline.

“What I try to do is always speak and be straight with them. I don’t sugar-coat anything. I give them attention and love, I send positive messages, I always try to be there and around which highly annoys them sometimes, and I always talk to them whether or not they like what I’m saying. I’m not sure if my parenting approach is 'right,' but I do what I think I have to do.”

And, she said, although she may sometimes be guilty of coddling her boys, one of the things she feels strongly about is allowing children to make their own mistakes and learn from them.

“As parents we have to be so careful, because although we want the best for our children, I believe we need give them the chance to make their own decisions sometimes, even if we don’t agree with those decisions. If things turn out as they expected, great, if not, it prepares them for the disappointments in life.”

Shifting focus to the young people who seem to be losing their way in life, Hosein-Gulston told WMN she her heart goes out to them and she advises their parents to not give up on their children.

“Sometimes they may disappoint us, but don’t speak ill of them and demotivate them. Life is a learning process. As a mother I’m not perfect. I was once young and made mistakes and I still make mistakes. Discipline them when they do wrong and let them know what they did was wrong, but don’t give up on them…We are guiding and grooming a new generation. We need to pray for them.”

Although Hosein-Gulston is not big on Mother’s Day celebrations since she lost her own mother, she said the ideal celebration for her would be to get away with her family with absolutely nothing to do.

“Just creating great memories with my family and siblings. I’m a bit boring that way.”