The emperor's new coat of arms

MANY FOLKS keen on a revised national coat of arms argue it should be purged of all traces of colonial hegemony.

Trying to extract our colonial roots from this country's story is like pulling steel out of concrete. The coat of arms is itself a hand-me-down from our former masters. Coats of arms were used as identifiers by European nobility – kings, princes and those lofty types – in warfare and sporting tournaments. If your coat of arms offends thee, the problem isn’t the ships; it’s the whole damn thing.

This, however, won’t sate the anti-history mob bent on silencing echoes of colonial hierarchies. So yes, the Red House will have to be burnt down. Again. The very seat of our failed governance is the single greatest standing monument to the imperialists' imperative.

The Westminster system of parliamentary democracy is a lifetime membership to our colonial past. The costume party-opening of the law term, the legal system, religions, these infernal roundabouts Trinis can’t figure out how to use, and the name Trinidad – these will all have to go in the great post-colonial redemption yard sale.

Ironically, our leaders today are more like the colonial masters of yore: demanding deference and unearned respect. Government ministers condescend to journalists and ordinary members of the public who have the effrontery to challenge their divine authority with their scrutiny, disrespectful questions and critiques.

Economist Marla Dukharan, in a sober and sobering observation, raised troubling concerns over the vanishing of billions in forex – a report dismissed in typically choleric manner as "jacka--ness" by the Prime Minister. The relationship dynamics of master and servant are in fine fettle.

In this country, we throw ourselves at the feet of party leadership and our politicians in unrequited devotion.

Meanwhile, in the land of our former colonisers, UK politicians are treated with suspicion and pummelled with enduring contempt by the British press and society in general. How’s that for role reversal?

As concerns simmered over the likely costs of the redesign, the announcement made by the PM with giddy enthusiasm appeared not to generate the expected riotous applause. Popular sentiment bristled over the timing of this aesthetic tweak, given the parlous state of our finances.

Here we are with this administration panning for precious revenues in every shallow stream – property tax, online tax, police ticket squads, etc. Somehow, though, replacing La Nina, La Pinta and Santa Maria with the tenor pan, bass pan and the "ayan" raced to the top of the priority list.

For those who say we can do more than one thing at a time, you must be new here.

During the pandemic, the public kept hearing about an impending online registration system for vaccines. That failure was so spectacular it was never mentioned again. I have a whole box of those examples if you’d like to rummage through.

Eager to douse the rising tempo of vitriol over skewed priorities, Dr Rowley offered a vision for how the coat-of-arms photoshopping would be done – one which, it seems, he didn’t have handy when first asked by Express reporter Anna Ramdass. Having given it further thought (or having been given the thought) the PM supplied a hazy explanation of what would be a modest outlay.

The change would be gradual; as various documents expire, the alterations would be applied – it wouldn’t happen in one fell swoop. He referred cryptically to “existing supplies” being used up.

But this is more than a stationery issue. The clarity wasn’t Claritin. The PM’s explanation doesn’t hold any water – certainly nothing like the way Port of Spain does.

Remember, the Prime Minister triumphantly announced the change would happen in six weeks. Apart from redesign commission costs, the coats of arms on government buildings and vehicles would have to be adjusted accordingly. Unless, of course, the whole concept is an
amuse-bouche of populist political theatrics gone awry – the panside striking up a tune for which the crowd is in no mood.

The best revenge, as they say, is success. We should work towards creating an egalitarian society that offers the prospect of prosperity, health and relative comfort to all citizens if we truly want to shed the old hurts and hobbling impacts of colonialism.

Our government should foster a level playing field to ensure all our people have the tools and resources to live up to their full potential, becoming building blocks of a model nation.

That takes work, though, and it doesn’t exactly cue the conch-shell crescendo at political meetings.

So for now, take pan in yuh rukung katang katang katang.