Marcus says, 'Don’t spoil them'

It was an alarming coincidence last week. Our 14-year-old Presentation College student Marcus McDonald warned about youth crime and family life, while at the same time St Vincent and the Grenadines’ Prime Minister Dr Ralph Gonsalves warned about young males and family responsibilities at the international energy conference in Guyana.

Marcus became National Junior Calypso Monarch.

Marcus advised parents and families, “Don’t spoil” children. That is, don’t bring up children with “blind love,” excessively allowing or ignoring their wrongdoing, because you “love them.” They will even “bite you back” later.

With the society now facing escalating youth crime, this young man, with a convincing skit, sent a very timely message.

Too many parents behave as “enablers,” that is, tolerating their children’s rudeness, disrespect and even harm to others until it becomes too late. This “blind love syndrome” extends to protecting wrongdoing by relatives too.

Marcus, lamenting “good example,” said to parents: “You ent sharing, you ent caring/ You don’t have the time to spare…How you want the kid life unfold/ If you want the best for your children, don’t spoil them.”

Remarkably, almost all 15 contestants sang about youth, parenting and family.

Dr Gonsalves said that “if we think energy resources alone can fight crime and insecurity, we are fooling ourselves.” Focusing on “young males committing most crimes,” he added: “It is all our problems. We need parents to address that.”

Of course, as PM Dr Keith Rowley and Guyana’s President Irfaan Ali explained, energy resources are required to tackle crime and security. Dr Gonsalves acknowledged this, but explained that crime can eat away a country’s resources.

Family regret can be gleaned from last week’s fatal shooting of 23-year-old Akeem “Jammy” Pegus. At the Forensic Science Centre, a relative said: “We tried to instil in him to eat little and live long. Anytime you get it fast, it don’t last.

"He eventually fell into the wrong crowd. He didn’t listen.”

Questions arise: Why do some children appear so "harden" in spite of good advice? Is the advice backed up by good example? Do peer group pressures overcome parental advice?

There are many crusades by government agencies and NGOs to “help inspire and save the youth.” There are numerous “alternative” training and employment programmes, swimming pools, and now libraries.

But Dr Gonsalves and the young calypsonians emphasised that families must play a key role.

Of course, many parents today will explain they don’t have the resources or time. There are, however, families wherein parental hardships still allow for home-spun discipline and career ambition. If we say poverty causes crime, then we are also saying that crime will never end, because poverty will never end.

Worse yet, as frequently reported, some parents themselves are already “spoilt,” indisciplined and crime-prone.

We could debate this until the world ends, but I still maintain that domestic morality can overcome the behavioural challenges of poverty. Without stretching the point, I know many poor parents who have reared children into civic-minded, high-achieving adults.

In this competitive society, life has its ups and down, sometimes looking like a “dog-eat-dog” society. However, parents, especially poor parents, must spare the time and effort to cross barriers.

Marcus, also a guitarist and footballer, said he spent two years preparing his song. He was trained by his grandfather, Victor McDonald, 76, who declared: “I am from the old school era which says, ‘Don’t spare the rod and spoil the child.’”

He also performs at San Fernando’s Kaiso Showcase.

This suggests how home environment shapes children’s character.

Coming fourth, Koquice Davidson, of Bishop’s High School, Tobago, advised: “Rally around the children/Protect the likes of Sean Luke, Akiel Chambers,” etc. Tsaiann Burke, Holy Faith Convent, Couva, placing 12th, complained: “The breakdown in the family is killing we. If we want to change society, we must begin with the family.”

Dr Gonzales will shake her hand.

Naomi Waldropt, 14th place, from Signal Hill Secondary, warned youths: “If you don’t make better choices, your life you will surely lose.”

And to wrap it all up, Kerston Miller of UWI, 15th place, pleaded: “Wake up Trinbago/Put country and its children first/And forget about politics, bad mind and evil.” Bad mind? Many would say, Kerston hit the nail on the head.

How many are listening?