Embracing our diversity

“In order to have faith in his own path, he does not need to prove that someone else's path is wrong.”

― Paulo Coelho

When my son was in Standard Three he was asked to contribute an Indian delicacy to his school's Divali celebration. My cousin, Lisa, generously whipped up a batch of tasty pholourie and mango chutney for his friends and teachers. It was a hit. Last Wednesday he asked me if I could ask aunty Lisa if she could do it again because he had "kinda volunteered to bring pholourie."

I looked at him in disbelief because we had had the "don't volunteer people to do things before asking them if they can" discussion many times before. He, however, misinterpreted the look. "You know you don't have to be Hindu to offer to bring something delicious for your friends to enjoy for Divali," he pointed out. The look turned to one of pride because that statement meant that my attempt to teach him about coexisting in a multi-religious, multi-racial and multi-cultural society had taken root.

Talk show host Ellen DeGeneres put what I want him to grasp in the simplest way possible when she addressed criticism of her spending time with former US president George W Bush and his wife Laura, at a Dallas Cowboys football game earlier this month. "They thought, 'why is a gay Hollywood liberal sitting next to a conservative Republican president?'... Here's the thing. I'm friends with George Bush. In fact, I'm friends with a lot of people who don't share the same beliefs that I have.

"But just because I don't agree with someone on everything doesn't mean that I'm not going to be friends with them," she said. "When I say, 'be kind to one another,' I don't only mean the people that think the same way that you do. I mean be kind to everyone."

I don't force things, especially religion, on my son because as far as I am concerned, he is an intelligent individual who, when the time comes, can make his own decision on who or what he wants to believe in or not. There were certain things I embraced as a child that I don't now because of new knowledge and experiences. Why, then, would I want to force my beliefs on him? I give him advice along the way, but for the most part I allow him to choose his own clothes, food, music, movies, friends, passions (which change almost as frequently as he changes clothes) and thoughts about the universe and its inhabitants. I encourage him to learn about the social constructs that are culture and religion by reading and observing, and to respect what others believe even if he doesn't, just as he expects others to respect his views.

Tt is fortunate to have such a rich fusion of different religions, influenced by cultures and subcultures. Exposure to different cultures is always interesting and allows people to think about things in different ways. And with the number of Venezuelans that have taken up temporary residence in TT, the opportunity to try to understand yet another culture presents itself. When I was a child, it was not uncommon for me to attend puja at my paternal grandmother's home, and be most present at mass and the church's harvest the following day with my maternal grandmother. My early days at an all-girls Roman Catholic primary school taught me much about that religion, as did my subsequent attendance at a co-ed Presbyterian primary school to which I had transferred. There, I encountered children of varying cultures, whose religions were all respected and observed on the days leading up to the respective holidays. I credit that school for my ability to teach my son about cultural and religious tolerance, for that is where a major part of the foundation was laid. And with technology making the world into a smaller space, meeting people of different cultural heritages became inevitable. I'm grateful for those lessons of co-existing with differences.

When #1son first encountered a girl of Chinese descent in his class, she was having noodles for lunch. He took notice of the frequency at which she brought noodles - three times a week - and incorporated it into one of our pillow talks. "But why?" he asked. I reminded him of his own desire to eat pizza everyday, and encouraged him to talk to her about her culture because that was the best way for him to get the answer to his questions. As it turned out, her parents own a restaurant and noodles are her "absolute favourite food." While that conversation worked out well for him, it made me have to fork out money to buy him an insulated bowl so he could take "hot" noodles to school, just like his friend, and make chow more than I usually do so he can share with her.

Unfortunately, this year aunty Lisa was unable to do the pholourie sequel because of work commitments. But that didn't prevent him from excitedly dressing up in his customary East Indian finery, proudly carrying a store-bought delicacy to share with his friends, unknowingly preparing himself to be a citizen of the world.

Shubh Divali!