Recognising teachable moments

Debbie Jacob

I THOUGHT twice about going to Massy Stores in St Ann’s last Wednesday. Double-points day makes it one of the busiest days of the week, and for me, avoiding crowds was worth more than the double points I could get from shopping. The previous week I had the flu so it didn’t feel wise to be around too many people. I expected a crowded grocery story, but it turns out I didn’t know the half of it.

Elementary school students had arrived on a bus. They poured into the grocery store to buy snacks and food, and hurried through the aisles. Enthusiasm for whatever mission they had embarked on that day showed loud and clear.

Employees in Massy Stores took this all in stride, showing admirable patience and courtesy in a situation that looked and felt overwhelming.

A more energetic and curious me might have asked someone about the purpose of the students’ visit to a grocery store on a school day. Instead, I tried to hear myself think and wondered about all the possible teachable moments lost on that day.

That’s not to say schools are the only places children should go to learn. Far from it. I just think that in and out of school, it’s always wise to plan teachable moments. Every activity should have a purpose.

Students grabbed items from shelves – prepackaged meals, savoury and sweet snacks, soft drinks and juice. They shouted and darted about oblivious to everyone around them.

Some of them didn’t notice approaching carts so they inadvertently blocked an aisle and didn’t step aside to let customers pass until an adult reminded them to move. It seemed to be a lesson in children’s dwindling knowledge about social awareness and space.

This trip could have been nothing more than an outing or it might have been a creative maths lesson about spending. Whatever it was meant to be, an important lesson about how to act in a grocery store – or any public place – got lost.

Call me a curmudgeon, but these lessons, which once formed part of the “hidden curriculum,” are important for children’s personal and social development. How do children learn about empathy, consideration, selflessness, spatial awareness and self-control if we don’t create teachable moments in public spaces?

How do children master control over impulsivity and make informed decisions rather than emotional ones if we don’t put them in public spaces for parents and educators to teach those skills and values? Social awareness requires critical thinking and listening skills, which are sorely lacking in a world dependent on technology. Children spend too much time disappearing into the virtual world where spatial awareness and social skills aren’t required like the real world.

Children learn when adults guide them to reflect on their own behaviour. We can’t expect tolerance, empathy, consideration and kindness to magically appear in adults. We often see the consequences of not teaching these values and skills when adults enter the workforce and don’t know how to behave in public.

In the past, we placed a value on social etiquette and admired children with “broughtupsy.” Before the cellphone age, parents paid more attention to their children’s social etiquette. My children knew not to scream or throw tantrums in public. They learned better communication skills than that.

As a child, I would never interrupt my parents or any adults when they spoke, and my children didn’t do that either. Now, many children have no respect when adults are speaking. They demand instant attention, and get it.

We shouldn’t become martinets and regiment children’s behaviour so there’s no room for joy or self-expression in public, but consideration of others always matters.

This isn’t meant to be a mean or critical column. It’s a reminder that we can all behave a little better and care a little more about others. As adults, we all should make an effort to reclaim some social values lost in our hectic lives. It doesn’t matter what our children learn in school academically if they don’t understand how to be kind and considerate.

So, the question is what did those students learn on that fun-filled day outside of school? Are they more aware of how to make better choices and not act impulsively? How did they consider others in a shared space? Do they know more about social etiquette? These are questions we need to address so that children can grow up to be kind and considerate adults who understand the value of sharing space.