Creating a balanced mind

Dr Josanne Lochan

Dear AFETT,

I feel mentally and physically exhausted. I typically have a very vibrant personality, but recently, I have been feeling distant.

My projects are delivered on time and my home is in order, but I feel as if I have been taking care of everything and everyone else but myself.

What advice do you have to help me to balance my mind?

Dear Reader,

I can relate to your concern all too well. I have experienced moments where I’m glowing on the outside but breaking down on the inside.

Here are some changes that I have made in my life to help deal with my mental well-being and create a balanced mind.

– Solitude: In the age of social media, with apps like WhatsApp, Facebook, and Instagram, most people are connected for the majority of the 24-hour day.

Where is the time we spend alone with our thoughts and process how our day turned out? What can we do better? Have we improved in certain areas?

During our time of solitude, we should be self-reflecting, which may involve journalling, baking, washing the dishes or .

Solitude is a daily requirement and should not be put off until the weekend or a vacation.

In this hectic modern day, many people experience "burnout" because they are always connected.

How do you get the time for solitude as a mother or wife?

Ensure your kids have a night routine of going to sleep at a specific time. For example, by 7 pm all kids are to be in bed, including bedtime story; lights off! This is not only beneficial to you, but a routine is highly beneficial to children, as it paves the path of routines as an adult.

Sometimes we are too exhausted at the end of the day and just want to sleep. Then wake up an hour earlier than your household and spend time alone.

A caring spouse will also give you the time to spend time with yourself and vice versa; it will also enhance your marriage. Solitude enhances your mental health.

– Say no: Many of us are afraid to say no, taking on many tasks to be likeable either at work or at home.

Saying no is part of maturing as a person. As you learn the art of when and how to say no, you will become less overwhelmed with daily tasks.

A sub-topic of saying no is to kill micromanaging and promote delegation.

Micromanaging your staff, your kids, your spouse and your pets…stop! Micromanaging creates stress on you and the person subjected to it.

It limits you as a person because you are attempting to do everyone’s work. Micromanagers are the worst managers and colleagues because they are grossly ineffective and cause a lot of undue stress.

Delegating work makes you not only more efficient and productive, but it creates less stress and burnout.

Giving people a sense of responsibility also promotes trust, creativity and allows us to shift our focus to another area.

– Physical health: This includes not only going to the gym and eating balanced diets but also getting an annual medical examination and keeping up with your dental appointments.

Why? These activities are also part of self-care. Taking care of our body helps us live a relatively enjoyable life and is less expensive than ill health.

Poor health robs us of time, generational wealth, enjoyable experiences and events.

Did you know that poor health can cost at least five times as much as good health?

Investing in an annual medical examination can detect disease early and treat potential diseases at an early uncomplicated stage, which usually results in full recovery.

– Spiritual health: Praying on a daily basis is essential. It helps us navigate the journey of life.

"Come to me, all you who labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light," says Matthew 11:28-30.

Our ultimate purpose in this life is to develop a relationship with God. Without a spiritual relationship, we can often feel empty and attempt to fill the void with material things.

– Hobbies: Through hobbies, we develop different parts of our character. Engaging in hobbies helps us to become more creative, dynamic, improve social relationships and enjoy a better quality of life. Don’t have a hobby? Start one.

Make a list of five activities you always wanted to try but never started because you "don’t have time."

On your list choose the one that you want to start today because it’s the most exciting. Set aside time either daily or weekly to practise your existing or new hobby.

Everyone is allotted the same number of hours in a day. Make the time to invest in you.

Now you see how essential having solitary time is, because you can use some of that time to practise your hobby as well.

This article was submitted by the Association of Female Executives of TT (AFETT).

AFETT is a non-profit organisation formed in 2002 with the goal of bringing together professional women and engaging in networking opportunities, training and business development.

Ask AFETT is brought to you by the Research and Public Advocacy team and addresses issues and concerns of executive and entrepreneurial professionals.