Acts of intentional kindness

DR REATHA-LEIGH PADMORE

ON WEDNESDAY, after work, I went to visit some Trinidadian friends who were leaving the next day to return to the US where they live. The wife and I have been good, close friends since Form 1 at St Joseph's College, Port of Spain. I love this woman like she is my blood. Sister by another mother. By extension, there are no words enough to express how much I now adore her husband and their two children, ages 15 years and 14 years. For over two decades, we've supported each other as classmates, friends, professional women and now working mothers with teenage children.

The family stays with her parents in Diego Martin and on Wednesday her cousin was there too to visit accompanied by his toddler son. The strong family genes were evident by the child's rounded nose tip and healthy head of hair. The cousin's stories were captivating and he is clearly Trini to the bone. A talented storyteller, historian, adventurer, entrepreneur and faithful family man. He openly spoke about how he is supporting his own father whose health is failing while balancing commitments to his own nuclear family.

It was a simple gathering. Me after work but still wearing scrubs. The older generation just home "normal." Cousin in a well-worn T-shirt with faded print, short pants and rubber slippers. Toddler in pampers, bareback. All three teens (their two and my one) on their devices not paying attention to any of the incredible family-history stories being recounted with flair and supporting evidence in the form of digital photos of black and white photos saved to the cousin's smartphone.

Son in-law offered drinks and the adults accepted the homemade fruit wine. Once the drinks were served he brought out hot, aromatic, homemade bread fresh from the oven. The man is of Italian descent and he married a Trini so his side hustle is as a cook/chef and of course he can really "throw down."

The pouty adolescents were quickly dispatched to the kitchen in search of cutlery, napkins, butter and cheese. I smile as the American-born 15-year-old returns first with a small plate of sliced, local cheese. His sister has the butter and my son the napkins. We formed a production line: Gen X and Gen Z serving the older heads ahead of ourselves. Focused silence as we worked in unison because each appreciated the necessity of preparing and consuming the fresh loaf while still hot.

Mash up! Even the toddler stilled. One by one, everyone slid into the visceral delight of the afternoon snack as the warm treat passed our lips, met our tongues, glided along our throats and was safely delivered into our bellies while nourishing our souls.

Upon reflection, what may have started as a small lime between family and friends literally turned into us breaking bread together on an ordinary Wednesday afternoon in Diego Martin. However, it wasn't an ordinary Wednesday afternoon in "Digo" it was an
extra-ordinary act of fellowship among a motley crew of "come as you are" men, women and children sharing bread and wine across a humble wooden coffee table, serving each other in the land of La Trinity.

So while parting is a sweet sorrow, those we love and cherish are always close because of the shared experiences we hold in our memories and in our hearts. During the pandemic, I longed for, ached for these simple communal pleasures. Those who know, know.

The last three years were distinctively traumatic in different ways for us frontliners too. There are events that happened in 2021 that I cannot recall but patients and staff have a clear recollection of me being there, in a leadership role. As a protective response the brain suppresses painful memories until they are triggered awake by new events. Good quality mental healthcare is essential during but particularly after a negative life experience and I am grateful to the many people from my "village" who have remained resident.

As I heal and move forward I choose now to look after myself, first, my family second and then my communities through acts of intentional kindness.

1. Starting the day with praise and worship.

2. Eating good-quality, healthy food most of the time.

3. While at work, pausing between the morning and afternoon clinics to leave my office and consume my lunch outdoors.

4. Committing to regular physical exercise.

5. Planning time off for staycations in nature and vacations abroad as finances permit.

6. Planning backyard limes with old friends and new ones.

7. Listening to a variety of music.

8. Dancing. Yes, even in public in the supermarket aisles while pushing the trolley.

Thank you Heavenly Father for blessing these two rocks with Las Cuevas and Paletuvier, Bamboo Cathedral and Argyle Falls and all the rivers, lakes, trails and wildlife in between. Shout-out to my village people.

Perhaps Dr Rowley can bestow the 2021 Best Village prize retroactively. Rajiv Diptee and the members of the Supermarket Association of TT, I thank you sincerely. Big-up to DJ Ana and Ultra Simmo for their virtual Friday Night Live shows which I discovered kind of late but still can hit the mark any day of the week.

Dr Reatha-Leigh Padmore is a district medical officer