Emotional intelligence and schooling

EMOTIONAL intelligence (EI) refers to the ability to manage your own emotions while understanding the emotions of people around you. It requires self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy, and social skills. It is the capacity to be aware of, control and express one’s emotions, and to manage interpersonal relationships judiciously and empathetically. It is important to both personal and professional success.

Emotional intelligence ought to have assumed significant prominence in the national lexicon, especially in this post-pandemic era. The mental and emotional tension that many endured is glaring and obvious, exuding from their social interactions.

Many emotional intelligence workshops have been convened by the management of several institutions to help personnel cope with seemingly new life challenges. Many people wisely sought guidance from literature in their quest to develop a degree of control over their emotions.

As John Gottman reminds us, “Your emotional awareness and ability to manage feelings will determine your success and happiness in life.” While this sounds pretty straightforward, it clearly is not. There is a high degree of anger and frustration, even depression, which negatively affects the well-being of our people to the extent that we fear and lose trust in one another. This is very evident in the social interactions of people, with intolerance being the order of the day.

Regardless of work environments, there will be challenges that will test the quality of interpersonal relationships. This reality is further compounded by personal problems precipitated by socio-economic circumstances. Workplaces are replete with individuals who are dealing with a range of external emotional challenges, which unfortunately sometimes spill over into the workplace.

Resolving such issues can be complex and even necessitate professional interventions. Toxic work environments characterised by conflict are created with associated productivity decline. School leaders are well advised to ensure adequate systems are in place to effectively manage the emotional health of all under their purview.

The prominence of bullying in our nation’s schools is a stark reminder that emotional intelligence deficit is not exclusive to adults. Our children, being products of their socialisation, have been expressing themselves in varying ways, much to the consternation of right-thinking citizens. The inter-personal skill deficit is unprecedented.

One may argue, “what stress can children really have?” Every stage of child development presents unique emotional challenges which cannot be taken for granted; after all, humans are emotional beings.

The seemingly alarming rate with which children appear to be intentionally seeking to harm, intimidate or coerce someone perceived as being vulnerable has gained significant national attention. This is a symptom of a much deeper societal problem.

This form of aggressive behaviour in which someone intentionally and repeatedly causes another person injury or discomfort via physical contact, words or more subtle actions is a manifestation of social and moral degradation across the society and thus is not a problem exclusive to schools, but one schools must confront head-on.

Solving this complex problem begins with diagnosis of its roots. John Gottman has to be on to something. Problem-identification is the first step to fixing it. We must understand what arouses the various emotions within us and further assess how these emotions affect our actions.

Raising our emotional awareness quotient is a logical first step. The next question would then be, “Are we sufficiently mature and responsible to engage in self-assessment?” Most often it takes someone else to point out your flaws.

Teachers, as self-directed lifelong learners, can lead by enhancing their level of personal awareness before they can assist their charges. This must be done on both a personal and collective level and is a first step to developing the emotional capacity to address the emotional deficits of their learners.

Introspection, a hallmark of reflective practitioners, is best done in quiet moments. It may require solitude or a dedicated period of time in peace and tranquillity to be effective. Leaders must therefore be able to recognise the need for subordinates to be exposed to "mindfulness" and even schedule time for its inclusion into their daily or weekly schedule. Practising "mindfulness" will definitely ease the tension among our people and rebuild social capital.

There is also no doubt that our school system needs to factor this concept into its repertoire to positively affect the mindset of our children. Ann Wilson once said, “If you want to help the poor, don’t be poor.” It is therefore critical for our teachers to be mentally and emotionally sound so that they can guide our students to act with a socially acceptable level of civility once more.