A single father's tale

THE EDITOR: My biggest challenge in life was raising two young boys single-handedly.

What was even more discouraging was the lack of social support for single fathers from State agencies back then. I'm not sure if this is still the case today, but 20 years ago, that was my reality.

As a new single parent, I was told to go to the social welfare office to see if any assistance was available. I went there only to be told that help was indeed available, but only for women who lost their children's fathers, and not the other way around.

Apartment-hunting as a single father of two young boys was a nightmare. Being gainfully employed meant nothing, and the only place available on the east-west corridor was an at-risk area.

Imagine your sons already traumatised by the sudden loss of their mother, only to face the added trauma of putting them in such an environment.

Cumana, Toco became our new home, a far cry from the life they knew in St James. But it was therapeutic enough to foster healing. The community quickly became our new extended family and my boys had the pleasure of the sea being their backyard.

Despite the odds, they returned years later to Port of Spain, and both attended college in the capital. One got qualified in electrical insulation. Both have never gotten in trouble with the law.

The role of a father is critical in maintaining law and order in the home and by extension, the community. Society's lack of attention to the vital role fathers play not only in the home, can directly be seen and is a reflection of the never-ending crime wave in our country.

It seems that TT has adopted the American prototype of parenthood where fathers are nothing more than ATM machines with little to no say, regarding the day-to-day development of their child. We need to get back to the basics, as all can agree that a father plays an important role in a child's life.

The lack of support for single fathers also needs to be addressed. Single fathers, like single mothers, need support so they can provide a stable environment for their children.

I am proud of my sons and their accomplishments, but truth is, I couldn't have done it alone. It's time for society to recognise the importance of fathers in raising healthy, productive members of society and give them the support they need to get the job done.

DANE HARPER

Via e-mail