A message to women: Be aware and be wise

LYSTRA WALLACE

I WAS looking at a movie that Denzel Washington starred in where he was trying to catch a serial killer who was only killing women.

In one of the scenes, Washington's character speaks to the dead woman saying, “You knew you should not have opened your door and let him in but you ignored that small voice inside you and you threw caution to the wind. You should have listened to that small voice but you felt you were lonely, you would give the person a chance and hope for the best…”

Washington – in his role in the movie – was talking to a dead woman on a gurney.

In TT, there are several women missing – some got a call, left their homes and never returned.

So, today I want to highlight some fundamentals that the old people taught me about honour and respect when it comes to relationships.

If you have someone special in your life who is sneaky or secretive – run.

If this person never introduces you to his family – though you may know his friends – run.

If this person says that you have something special but he wants you to keep it a secret and does not want anyone else to know – run.

If that person disrespects you – I don't care how old or young or black or white – run.

If that person always wants you for sex and not a relationship, you are probably being groomed to be an outside woman – run.

If that person gaslights you and makes you feel pressured into doing things that you do not want to do and always makes you feel like you are the wrong one – run.

Do not feel bad

May I tell you, the best of us can fall for people like this and it can also happen in reverse – that is, women can also do these things to men.

Value yourself, know your worth and learn what real, respectful, trustworthy, honourable and meaningful relationships are built on. You do not have to compromise for less. Wait!

So, let me tell you that a man who honours you and respects you and your family will treat you right, take you home to meet his family – from the beginning. He will value you, not use you.

He will want to take the time to know you, go on dates where he respects you, spends time having leisure activities – also with both your friends and family. That man would be interested in your growth too and building a life with you.

A man who respects a woman and wants to marry her would not only want sex from her. He would honour that woman and want her to keep her dignity and make her proud. He would want to protect her and not hurt her.

So, if you have a sex relationship thinking it is a relationship that would evolve to marriage, you are mistaken – run.

The excuse that it is a “young people thing” to live dishonourably, use people and treat others like dogs is a great disrespect to youths in general.

To the youths, older people and young at heart who desire to do the right thing and live honourable lives and build healthy families, hold your head high and do not compromise – for when you compromise your life for dishonourable people, only bad and dishonourable things happen.

Always let your family know your whereabouts and who you are going out with, etc – let others know.

So, please be careful who you let into your life. Take the time to know people, introduce them to your friends and family, get to know their friends and family. Learn about the person before getting involved.

Do not let anyone gaslight you and make you do questionable things.

Too many are making these mistakes and allowing destructive people in their space.

Be safe, be wise, be aware and put your trust in God.

We can all learn to be the best…and be the better person and not be the bitter person.

Lystra Wallace is an operations strategy consultant – focusing on social reform