If Abu were Putu

THANK GOD IT'S FRIDAY

BC PIRES

THE WORST thing is not that Vodka Hitler has started World War III that may kill us all and will certainly starve perhaps millions, and only because he convinced himself that subjugating and occupying Europe’s second largest country was a day-work.

The worst thing is the “intellectuals” who do not even recognise they are rationally attempting to appease a madman, like Neville Chamberlain did Hitler in 1939. And will reap the same result.

If it weren’t tragic it would be hilarious: stoked by righteous indignation, the clowns rail against American aggression. Yes, Vlad the War Criminal invades Ukraine, murders babies, bombs hospitals, sets fire to Chernobyl, the largest store of nuclear waste in the world – and these jokers are outraged by NATO expansionism! It was all so predictable, they moan, look how red this map was back in the good old days of the USSR, and look now how blue the evil NATO has made it. He must have a land route to the Black Sea! (As if he hadn’t already snatched that with the Crimea.)

They worry about EU expansionism…but not about a man with severe and serious mental health issues, a man with whom you would not walk down a dark alley. The gangster’s actions, they justify; his character, motivation, aims, methods, they dismiss.

Like they dismiss the rights of sovereign countries to make the alliances they want. With all due apologies to the Vote Leave Cabal Government of England, who would choose to be a Russian satellite dependency if they could be in the European Union?

The US is a barbaric country. Americans value guns ahead of school shootings (and, ergo, children), church ahead of healthcare, concrete ahead of nature, and their cinema is largely crap. “Republican” and “Democratic” judges do not even pretend impartiality, the only crucial quality you need in anyone sitting in judgment of you. And the last three Republican presidents
lost the popular vote. The US is a deeply flawed nation with a morally abhorrent history.

But they’re on the right track. Black Lives Matter a bit now, after 400 years; no life at all has mattered in Rouble-Store Hitler’s Russia for a thousand years.

So, being a lover of humanity in even its most wretched form, like people who condemn the West while enjoying its benefits, I want to help intellectuals by using the oldest trick in debate: substitute a different actor and reassess the argument.

If we were talking about Abu Bakr and the 1990 coup attempt, below is what the people who now condone Short Man Hitler would argue:

IF PUTU WERE ABU

Your understanding of the issue is flawed, BC. You have a schoolboy perspective. I go give you the university one. You seeing a “Bad Man.” You ent axing what was done to the iImam to make him bad. He had was to blow up CID, shoot up the Red House, kidnap parliamentarians and put himself on TTT. You don’t know the history of the Muslimeen. He had no choice.

Here, look at this article written by a chick from the Bomb. Or maybe was the Sunday Punch, don’t matter, check the true facts of the Muslimeen situation. Read this firetrucking quote, yuh dorg: “That mosque is the trigger. If they touch that…Boom!”

The imam tell them that! This was all predictable, in fact predicted! It was preventable! Everybody knew he had a million bullets! He went to Libya and graduate from Muammar Gaddafi High Terrorism School! You provoke him, he will kill you!

How you mean if we go let him just do it? Of course! You didn’t hear what I say he say about the mosque? Ent it they touch the mosque? Ent it they send police to set up camp in the field next door? Is
police expansionism cause the coup! Don’t jail Abu! Jail the police! I don’t care how many dead and who was innocent! Look at the history.

I don’t give a flying firetruck what Abu was thinking! I am looking at the history, not the evidence in front of me. I is a firetrucking intellectual! Look, get your short dunce a-- out of here, yes, BC. You knows nothing.

BC Pires does not think “realpolitik” is a magic word that fills chasms in argument. Read the full version of this column on Saturday at www.BCPires.com