A prayer for my special-needs child

DR RADICA MAHASE

At the start of a new year, I always think about a quote by the English poet, Lord Alfred Tennyson, “Hope smiles from the threshold of the year to come, whispering, 'It will be happier.'”

The last year was challenging for most people; living during a pandemic would of course be challenging! I think that’s why, so many people look forward to 2022 with hope – hope that it will be a better year financially, physically, emotionally, physiologically, amongst others.

For those of us whose lives centre on someone with autism, whether parents or caregivers, grandparents or siblings, there is a different kind of hope. There’s the hope that our special ones will have a good year – in this case, "good" might be a year with fewer meltdowns or a year with more frequent communication, verbally or otherwise.

One mother who has a son who was diagnosed with autism wrote the following prayer, that I would like to share.

"Dear Supreme One, I thank you for sending my son to me. I know that you made him exactly into the person that you want him to be and I accept him fully. I won’t ask for you to change him in any way. I have and will continue to love him unconditionally.

"I do ask that 2022 be a very good year for him. I ask that he remains healthy throughout and that, if for some reason he gets sick, that I can understand what is wrong, even though he won’t tell me. And that I will be able to help him in every way that he needs so that he can get better.

"I humbly ask that I continue to have the patience that I need to take care of my precious child. Sometimes, in the midst of all the everyday challenges, I feel hassled, I feel overwhelmed and I may become impatient, if not with him, with others around me. I pray that I will never lose sight of the bigger picture – the picture in which he is always healthy and happy and my role in making that picture a reality.

"All I want is for my son to be healthy and happy. It doesn’t matter what our situation is, just let him be healthy and happy.

"Most of the time he’s in his own world and when he comes out of it, then we are his world.

"Thank you for letting us be with him last year, continue to bless us so that we can be here with him throughout 2022.

"I ask that you continue to bless him, so that he can communicate with me in his own unique way, and that his father and I will continue to understand him and communicate with him, despite the limited words, in whatever way that he can understand us. I ask for this especially when he’s having meltdowns so that I will find the best way to help him then.

"I thank you for the few people who are close to us and who support us in taking care of him, who also try to make his life a better one. I don’t really care much for people outside of our little bubble but I do wish that more people would try to understand him better. I also ask for the wisdom to know which battle to fight when people chose to act 'ignorant' about my son. Please give me the patience to either teach those persons or to ignore them totally.

"I pray that 2022 will bring opportunities for him – opportunities to learn and that to be able to do more things for himself, to maybe even say more words. I pray that in this new year he will be able to make at least one friend and that he will continue to have the support of our close family and friends.

"Give us the patience that we need to be better parents to him. He has made us into better human beings and we will continue to love him. I thank you for sending him to us and for all the positive changes he has brought to us, despite the difficult times. Thank you for letting him want to hug and kiss us; for him always being so concerned about us and most of all, thank you for letting him love us. We are blessed to have him in our life and we thank you for sending him."

Wishing everyone a Happy New Year 2022!

Dr Radica Mahase is the founder/director of Support Autism T&T