Sense and sensuality

KANISA GEORGE

Sexuality and sensuality are often considered a woman's most potent weapons. They make us formidable, dominating, and some even believe they reek of necromancy. I’m sure even you women out there who have bottled up this powerful magic know exactly what it can do for your confidence, sexual and mental health.

Have you ever looked at a woman strut her stuff in heels? Doesn’t she appear almost invincible? If there’s anything I know for sure is that she most certainly feels that way. Don’t be mistaken; it’s not always our intent to appear overly confident, conceited or haughty. We are merely tapping into that mysterious magic created by six-inch heels. To achieve this undeniable je ne sais quoi, women utilise an arsenal of tools synonymous with femininity, sexuality and sensuality. But understanding what it truly means to be sensual versus sexual, is a whole other story.

Sexuality is concerned with the biological, psychological, sociological, and spiritual aspects of life that affect a woman’s personality development and interpersonal relations. It often involves physical intimacy but also has a lot to do with self-image, self-esteem, body image, and one’s understanding of love. On the other hand, sensuality relates to the body and our senses, with focus placed on bodily or sensory pleasure.

Have you ever felt renewed after a shower with your favourite body wash or invincible after a spa day? The way we engage our senses and truly allow ourselves to experience them is what sensuality is all about. Experts say sensuality has a lot to do with the individual experience and how well you pay attention to and cater to your needs.

Interestingly, when most women think of sensuality, they somehow believe that their sensuality is only relevant when linked to another person. In fact, one writer believes that this is due to misleading cultural and social norms that define women as receivers and passive participants of sexual and sensual experiences. Where’s the lie? Even our female anatomy reinforces this idea. Lifestyle journalist Kerstin Czarra believes that we are so locked into the concept that since our bodies are built to receive, we should wait for someone to ignite the sensual aspect of our lives. But why should we?

Research shows that maintaining a positive quality of life significantly depends on how well we understand and master sexuality and sensuality. Together they help improve our self-esteem and feelings of well-being. They also help decrease the experience of physical pain, increase optimism and our overall relationship satisfaction. Sex and wellness experts believe that when women start to recognise the power of sensuality, they can harness it to create a deeper connection with themselves, boosting creativity and confidence.

Sex and intimacy coach Lila Darville believes that being in tune with your sensuality can awaken sexual energy. Still, it’s sensuality that opens the gate to experiencing your authentic self. How then do you embrace sensuality? It’s all about being in tune with your sense. Activating your senses helps connect your inner desires, making you feel confident and unstoppable.

How about wearing your sexy underwear on a normal day? Why should it be reserved for our partners? Sex therapist Rachel Needle posits that wearing something special on an ordinary day can give you a mental boost, and it’s something you don’t need a partner to indulge in.

When was the last time you saw yourself naked? And I don’t mean the 25 mins you spend in the shower or those moments right before you get dressed.

Researchers believe that luxuriating in your nakedness can help you feel better connected to your body, increasing your sense of awareness and sexuality. Also, massaging your body after you shower makes you feel loved and appreciated by the touch of your own hands.

Smell enhances our pleasure experience. Yet it’s so easy to go nose blind. Instead, try mixing up your fragrances from time to time. When you smell good, you feel good, and this generates positive self-thoughts. Therapists also recommend using candles to set a relaxing tone either when watching a film or unwinding to help improve your mood and further the connection to yourself.

Most importantly, take time to unplug. Switch off your phone, disconnect from social media for a set period, listen to your thoughts, take deep breaths, and just be still. This, according to experts, helps with stress reduction and allows you time to connect with yourself.

We should all take time to become familiar with every facet of ourselves, especially those that spark self-growth and confidence. You deserve to feel loved and cared for, why not start doing it for yourself. What are you waiting for?