Managing perimenopause and menopause for great sex

ONIKA HENRY

For those of you who read the first part of this article, you may recall that I stated that menopause is not the end of a woman’s sexual life and that in fact many women enjoy sex more than ever after this developmental stage. I also shared the way I approach this developmental stage in a woman’s life – five pillars of preparation:

• Diet

• Mind

• Exercise

• Hormonal treatments

• My secret ingredient (which isn’t really a secret)

I will go into a bit more details about each of these “pillars.”

Diet: eating right for menopause wellness

Just a few diet and lifestyle changes can have a dramatic effect on how you experience menopause, especially if you start making them at the "peri" stage.

In addition to the basics of a healthy diet, three can’t-miss strategies to start eating well for menopause include:

1. Taking phytoestrogens or plant-oestrogen before menopause, which can moderate day-to-day oestrogen levels so that when menopause comes the drop won't be so dramatic. Phytoestrogens are found in liquorice and alfalfa.

2. Taking high quality, animal-based omega-3 fats (such as krill oil). Balance omega-3 and omega-6 by eating foods rich in these oils.

3. Taking polyphenols which are associated with a lowered risk of heart disease. Green tea like Royal Matcha has polyphenols that can be more effective than those in red wine.

Consult with a nutritionist or herbalist to find local foods that are rich in these nutrients. Be deliberate in adding to your diet foods that help with vaginal lubrication and hormonal balance. For vaginal lubrication try avocados, flaxseed, sunflower and sesame seeds, and hydrating fruits. For hormonal balance, moringa, sweet potatoes, maca, turmeric and dark chocolate are helpful. Of course, this is not the end of these lists, there are many more.

Mind: a healthy mindset for menopause wellness

Get educated and change your beliefs and attitudes about this life stage. Hormone driven changes at perimenopause affect the brain. This literal re-wiring of the brain means that a woman may begin to view life differently, and this may put long-established relationships in upheaval. This is a time to commit to setting healthier boundaries, to taking better care of yourself, to speaking the truth and being your authentic self. Menopause can be an exciting developmental stage, which when participated in consciously, can create great positive transformation and healing in many areas of life.

Know that menopause is not a disease or illness to be cured or fixed by doctors and drugs.

Popular images of perimenopausal women portray them as going through physical and mental de-generation and as unstable or irrational. Studies show that this emotional instability is not an unavoidable part this transition. The mood changes that some women experience, do not appear to be caused by the hormonal changes. The mood swings are far more likely to be caused by a life of stress, a history of depression and poor health status at the time of perimenopause. In other words, unresolved emotional stress and other life issues can aggravate the perimenopausal hormonal changes that are happening.

At mid-life, deciding to feel pleasure and take pleasure in your life takes courage and discipline. The brain is the biggest and most important sex organ in the body. Your ability to choose how you think about sex and pleasure of all kinds is your most powerful ally in reinventing yourself sexually at mid-life. According to obstetrician, gynaecologist, author and women’s health advocate Dr Christiane Northrup, “a woman’s desire – her ability to get turned on – is one of the most potent aphrodisiacs in the world. At mid-life, you have to reinvent the fun.”

Exercise: create a routine for menopause wellness

Generally, during perimenopause, you should get regular exercise and make sure your programme includes a variety of activities, such as core training, high-intensity cardio, peak fitness, stretching and weight training; avoid prolonged periods of sitting and remain upright and active as much as possible during non-exercise hours.

Exercises which help you reduce pain and increase comfort during sexual activity are key. Dr Christine Northrup recommends that your goal should be to exercise five or six days per week for at least 30 minutes. Walking is fine, but remember that true fitness includes strength, flexibility, and endurance, so activities should promote all three.

Your vaginal walls are muscular. As with any other muscle that is not exercised, over time, it weakens and thins out, and this is especially common during perimenopause. Your pelvic floor is the seat of your life force and sexual energy. In addition to your pelvic organs and pelvic floor, the pelvis has a great deal of erectile erogenous tissue within it. So, when you do your pelvic strengthening exercises, make the experience as fun as possible.

Becoming aware of your pelvic floor and exercising it regularly – through either Kegels, vaginal weights, weighted cones, or the use of yoni eggs – not only strengthens the pelvic floor, but also increases blood flow to the vagina, bladder, and urethra, making the tissue more resilient. This will greatly improve both your sex life and your bladder control.

It is important to note though, that as important as Kegels are they can backfire. They work well in the short-term for strengthening the pelvic floor, but over time, doing Kegels can actually make your pelvic floor muscles weaker, unless you also develop strong gluteus (buttocks) muscles. To avoid this issue, simply use the vaginal weights, cones, or eggs.

Look out for part three, the final in this series, when I will address the last two pillars.

Onika Henry is a clinical sexologist and sex educator.

Website: https://onikahenry.com

Facebook: O’Henry Consultancy

Contact: 381-304