The blindness in blind loyalty

Sandrine Rattan writes a weekly column for Newsday called With Women In Mind. 

You’re not supposed to be so blind with patriotism that you can’t face reality; wrong is wrong no matter who does it or says it –Malcolm X

Recently I wrote about the importance in changing your lens as often as is necessary to do so. Today my feature would be an extension from that concept. Being loyal to someone, something or an organisation is indeed noble but the infusion of extremism into the loyalty is detrimental to your objectivity.

I continue to hear comments such as “that’s my child and he would never do that”; “my husband is the most perfect being and can never do any wrong”; “I would remain affiliated to that organisation no matter what” …and the list is endless. Unfortunately, these articulations are indicative of loyalty filled with blindness, insecurity and low self-esteem.

Whilst true and sustainable friendships, marriages and other relationships stand on the pillar of strong loyalty, one’s ability to see any negatives which may pop up signifies a level of weakness in understanding the sea of life and its navigation routes.

Your affiliations must at all times be adequately solid and transparent to afford you the lens to admit that the circumstances relating to a particular issue are incorrectly placed despite how you feel towards that individual and/or organisation. Sadly, we co-exist in an environment where persons are afraid to voice legitimate opinions for fear of being ostracised, and to continue life along this pathway is indeed regrettable.

Defending wrongdoing and inefficiencies is a sign of weakness that demonstrates, that your psyche needs to be checked urgently.

One who is blindly loyal follows obediently behind family, organisations or even friends unwilling to accept that wrongdoing exists.

That type of modus operandi does not allow for open dialogue and negatively impacts the effectiveness of the family system. Such myopic mindsets are largely responsible for the unwillingness by many women to discuss and share on issues relating to domestic violence and suicidal tendencies as they fear rejection and even ridicule.

One may question the genesis of blind loyalty which usually originates from childhood, which in most instances, is displayed to win love from parents, family and friends.

It also acts as a buffer against feelings of disapproval or even feeling unwanted and rejected. A false sense of self and reality, projects a belief of a perfect family ignoring the existence of imperfections; moving along this continuum is both emotionally and physically unhealthy and has the potential of becoming generational if left unnoticed. Life was not designed to be perfect and therefore, there is nothing wrong in admitting to the existence of wrongdoing in your family, relationships, in your workplace or even in the government, and further voicing the need that those things need to be fixed.

By so doing, your honesty and integrity would continue to score high even if it means standing alone for what is right. Removing the blindness and blinkers would definitely lead to healthier living.

Sandrine Rattan is a communications and branding consultant, author and president of the International Women’s Resource Network (IWRN). Contact: thecorporatesuitett@gmail.com or intlwomensresourcenetwork@gmail.com