The power of the written word

My son has always been adamant that his choice of career will be in the film industry. Ever since he outgrew the, “I want to wrestle” phase he has had his eyes set on being “a famous actor” because he loves being in front of the camera.

I have always advised him, though, not to limit himself to just one aspect of filmmaking because it is such a wide and dynamic industry, and I encourage him to embrace any skill that can help him build a foundation for his aspirations ­– music, dance, art, public speaking, theatre, writing. The latter has always been a source of contention between us for a number of reasons.

His imagination is out of this world and he could spend ten days talking about something that happened within the space of an hour because he can be extremely descriptive and goes into such great detail. As a result, it is difficult for me to understand why he has never shown any real interest in writing and would hardly put any effort into developing the skill.

“Writing is a very useful life skill. The ability to communicate well will push you ahead in so many aspects of your life,” I have been telling him for as long as I can remember, and I advised him to keep a journal so he can build his writing competence as he captures the good and the bad days, his firsts and lasts and some of the exciting and not so exciting things in between. He’s not always too thrilled about it, but I promise him that he’ll appreciate it when he becomes an adult and has so many documented memories on which to look back. “Plus, when you become a big star, this journal will be priceless,” which always makes him smile but I don’t think it motivates him to really want to take the time to document his life.

So, last week when he asked if he could interview one of his friends from school and write an article for Newsday Kids, I was elated, and a bit taken aback. I’m glad he’s finally showing an interest in writing without me having to coax him into it. Not because I wish he would follow in my footsteps career-wise. Oh dear god no! Although, there is a strong possibility that he may just do that because he’s always boasting that his mother works at a newspaper, which is probably glamorous in his eyes, and, as suggested by an article in the New York Times: “The estimates, drawn from General Social Survey (a full-probability, personal-interview survey designed to monitor changes in both social characteristics and attitudes conducted in the United States) data between 1994 and 2016, show that mothers, despite working in lower numbers, are still influential in inspiring their children’s career choices. And the passing down of occupation and other measures of socioeconomic status seems to affect boys more than girls.”

But my rapture of his new-found interest in trying a new form of writing stems from the fact that, as a writer, even if it has not served me that well financially, I have benefited in so many other ways. For instance, I have found that I communicate with more clarity when I write than when I talk because I tend to be more sophisticated with my choice of words and expressions to describe my thoughts. As a result, I’m better able to get complex messages across in a more efficacious manner.

For the most part, writing is a form of stress relief for me, especially when I get the time to ramble on – when all my thoughts therapeutically leave my mind and find their way onto a page and I can see them laid out in black and white, or any colour I choose. Later, if I so desire, I can look back at all the abstract thoughts, rationalise and rearrange them into non abstract ideas and make sense of them.

As much as possible, I try to begin my day with writing – my to-do list sets the pace for the rest of my day. I’ve always found that like physical exercise, it stimulates the neurons in my brain and prepares it for the tasks ahead. And because my goals for the day are all set out for me in black and white, it increases my resolve to achieve them and the pleasure I get in checking the boxes after I’ve completed each task.

Writing has, to a great extent, helped me to meet, get to know, understand and appreciate myself. Documenting my thoughts, feelings, fears, dreams, plans – just about everything – gave me a much clearer picture of the person I was, wanted to be and am. As a result, I’ve found that I’ve been able to make better choices because I know exactly what I want and how I plan to achieve it. And because what I want to achieve is always there in in front of me, it’s easier to stay focussed on doing what is necessary to get there.

I always wish I had documented memories of my childhood, teenage years and young adult years so that I could look back at them and see the bigger picture – that historical record of me and my thoughts and how I evolved into the me of 2020. This would have been the ideal time to pour over those years, to laugh and cry at the adventures of the Carol Quash of yesteryear. Unfortunately, I never started journalling until the day I found out I was pregnant and I realised that I wanted #1son to be able to look back at his life without having to wonder what happened, for instance, on the day he was born.

Fortunately, when he becomes a “big star” and I have to write his biography, I will have a lot more than just my memory with which to work.