The emotional journey of men facing breast cancer

Bavina Sookdeo

When a man is told he has breast cancer, a common first reaction is often disbelief.

“This is followed by questions about survival, sexuality and masculinity,” reported Dr Nazreen Bhim, clinical oncologist. “Many men tell me, ‘I didn’t even know men could get this.’”

Bhim explained that breast cancer in men is still seen through a gendered lens, and is often dismissed as a “woman’s disease.”

That misconception, she said, “fuels denial and delay, and it can amplify stigma when the diagnosis arrives.”

For many, the initial disbelief gives way to confusion and embarrassment.

“Naming this openly in clinic helps men move from shock to actionable next steps,” she explained.

Men who are given this diagnosis often face a double burden – the physical challenge of cancer treatment and the emotional weight of navigating a condition society rarely associates with them.”

Emotional impact

“Most men first confide in a partner or sibling,” she said. “A simple script helps – the diagnosis, the stage, the plan, and what support you’ll need at home. Involving a loved one in appointments improves recall and coping.”

Still, many struggle with how to talk about their diagnosis, especially outside close family circles. “There’s often a sense of embarrassment,” she said. “Men may feel uncomfortable about a ‘women’s cancer,’ surgery scars, or discussing side-effects like sexual dysfunction or body-image changes.”

But Bhim emphasised that changing how we talk about breast cancer is key to breaking the silence. “Normalising language – like saying, ‘Breast cancer can affect anyone with breast tissue’ – helps reduce shame.”

Beyond the medical challenges, breast cancer can deeply affect how men see themselves.

“The chest is tied to gender identity for many men,” Bhim explained. The physical loss of the nipple or breast tissue can lead to complex feelings of grief and insecurity. Responses range from acceptance to grief.”

Dealing with the feelings

Men can be offered help in coping with these feelings, however.

“Pre-operative counselling, showing expected scar patterns and discussing reconstruction or tattoo options improve preparedness.”

Masculinity and self-image, she said, play a major role in how men process their diagnosis and recovery.

“Concerns about strength, independence, work and intimacy are common. Reframing treatment as an active, courageous choice – not a loss of control – helps many men align care with their sense of self.”

A major emotional hurdle men face is seeking help in the first place.

“Men often under-utilise counselling and peer support, which can increase anxiety, isolation and non-adherence,” Bhim warned.

This reluctance, she said, stems from social conditioning around male strength and emotional restraint.

To bridge that gap, Bhim recommends gentle but assertive encouragement.

“A warm ‘I recommend this for every patient’ – rather than, ‘Do you want it?’ – boosts uptake,” she advised.

Encouraging therapy early on can make a significant difference in coping and recovery.

Her suggested strategies for emotional and psychological care include early psycho-oncology referrals (for the individual or couples), male-inclusive support groups (in-person or virtual), return-to-work planning and fatigue management, faith or community leader engagement, when desired, and sexual health counselling (erectile dysfunction management, libido changes, communication skills).

“Even simple practical checklists for surgery or chemo days – so family can help in concrete ways – can make men feel supported rather than dependent,” she added.

Changing attitudes

For Bhim, changing public perception begins with visibility and inclusion.

“The medical community and society both need to include men in all breast-cancer campaigns,” she urged. “Feature male survivors in the media. Ensure guidelines and clinic pathways explicitly name male breast symptoms. Expand genetic services for entire families – not just women.”

Bhim believes emotional healing is as vital as physical recovery.

“You’re not alone, and there’s no ‘wrong’ way to feel. Ask for help early – whether through counselling, peer support or faith-based guidance.

“Healing is physical and emotional; both deserve treatment.”