It's back-to-school time! Experts' tips on how to help children get ready to return to classes

Bavina Sookdeo

On September 8, students return to school, a time that brings excitement for some but anxiety for others — especially first-timers or those returning after a challenging year. To help ease anxiety, Newsday spoke with psychologist Venus Panchoo and educator and author, Reia Ali.

Panchoo, founder of Positive Path Counselling Services, specialises in working with teenagers and adults, addressing a range of concerns including mental health challenges, behavioural issues, trauma, crisis management, career guidance and relationships. She is also skilled in conducting critical incident stress debriefing sessions.

Panchoo explained the difference between nervousness and anxiety.

“Nervousness tends to be caused by a specific, identifiable situation or event, like a job interview or public speaking, first day of school. The feelings are short-lived; the feelings usually go away once the situation is over,” she said. “The symptoms are mild, such as a flutter in the stomach or sweaty palms but are manageable.”

Anxiety, however, can be triggered without an identifiable cause or is a generalised response to diffuse future threats.

“It is more persistent and ongoing, more intense, often overwhelming which interferes with daily functioning, lasting for a longer period than nervousness.” Panchoo said warning that if feelings of worry, fear, or tension are persistent, interfere with work, school, or daily life, or if they feel unmanageable and overwhelm an individual, it’s important to consult a psychologist.

“Any form of transition brings stress,” she said. “For some children, this shows up as refusal to go to school, frequent complaints of illness, or sudden mood changes. Parents often mistake it for misbehaviour, but what the child is really experiencing is fear and uncertainty.”

Panchoo noted that the most common indicators of school-related anxiety fall into emotional and behavioural patterns such as:

• Avoidance: children may refuse to go to school, avoid getting ready for school, or complain of being sick to avoid attending.

• Mood changes: from happiness to sadness or frequent crying.

• Reassurance-seeking: they might ask a lot of questions; an anxious child might constantly seek reassurance in order to comfort themselves.

Parents play a key role in easing the transition back to school. Panchoo also shared practical strategies parents can use to help children prepare emotionally for the transition:

• Attend orientation, parent-teacher meetings or sports events to meet teachers, which can reduce anxiety.

• Attend parent-teacher meetings to show your child that their education is a priority.

• Encourage your child to seek help from trusted adults when needed, whether from teachers or guidance counsellors.

“Teachers and schools do support children in easing separation anxiety and adjusting to the classroom,” Panchoo noted. “During registration and orientation students get an opportunity to meet their form teachers and tour the school to familiarise themselves.” Both parents and students are introduced to the Guidance counsellor and have many opportunities to ask questions.

Panchoo encourages parents to begin routines at least two weeks before school reopens. “Two weeks before school starts parents should communicate the importance of creating a schedule, bedtime, morning routines, cutting down on screen time with devices – this helps the transition feel more natural, and it becomes more gradual and less stressful on the child,” she said. “Encourage your child to take responsibility for tasks like packing their bag or managing homework to build confidence. “

Children can also be taught self-regulation tools to manage anxiety. Panchoo recommends:

• Deep breathing.

• Practising mindfulness and grounding exercises (like the 5-4-3-2-1 method).

• Engaging in physical activity and play.

• Using creative outlets like journalling, drawing, or music.

“Other strategies include building confidence, establishing routines and gradually exposing themselves to fears, while practicing positive self-talk and imagining a safe place,” said Panchoo.

So, what should a parent/guardian do if a child outright refuses to go to school due to anxiety?

“Parents should actively listen to and validate their child's feelings, encourage them to attend school while reassuring them of support. Work with the child to develop coping strategies, contact the school to collaborate on solutions, speak with their form teacher and the guidance counsellor and seek professional help to rule out medical issues and get a proper diagnosis for anxiety.”

When asked about the impact of social media and technology on school-related anxiety, Panchoo said they can have both positive and negative effects. Excessive use, exposure to cyberbullying, and unhealthy comparisons often worsen anxiety, with research showing that spending more than three hours a day on social media is linked to increased symptoms of depression and anxiety. At the same time, she noted that limited and positive use can be beneficial, fostering connection and support, particularly for marginalised youth.

When offering advice for parents of children with pre-existing conditions such as ADHD or autism, Panchoo emphasised the importance of preparation and support. “Parents should establish a consistent home routine well before school starts, use visual schedules and sensory tools, and work closely with the school to arrange accommodations like quiet spaces or extended time” she said. The psychologist added that open communication with teachers, preparing your child for transitions with social stories, and providing a safe space at home for them to express feelings are crucial for reducing anxiety and fostering a successful return to the academic environment.

Panchoo urged parents to remain mindful of their words and attitudes. “Even if you have negative feelings about the school your child is attending, avoid expressing them,” she advised. “Your child absorbs that energy.”

Instead, she suggests starting each day with affirmations, encouraging positive self-talk, and maintaining open communication.

She advised parents to always encourage their children and to be mindful of how their own words can influence a child’s outlook. She cautioned that negative comments about the school a child is placed in may affect the child’s thoughts and feelings. “Patience, love, and presence are powerful tools” she said. Be an active participant in your child’s life, listen without judgment, and don’t be afraid to ask for help if you feel overwhelmed. A strong support system creates healthier coping strategies for everyone.”

Reia Ali, a teacher with more than 18 years’ experience, said the first challenge for returning students is simply getting back into the routine of school life.

“Academically speaking, teachers have to start from ground zero,” she said. “It’s almost as if students return with a blank slate, we have to review what was previously taught before commencing with the new content. Also, as simple as it sounds, it’s a challenge for students to get in groove with the activities of the school day — recess, lunch, classes, extra-curricular, everything.”

Ali noted that for form one students, the shift is even greater. “They move from just math, English and creative writing to well over 11 subjects, it’s overwhelming. Students also have to adjust to different teachers, a larger school layout, and new classmates. Some even feel lost in the first weeks, forgetting timetables or where classrooms are.”

That sense of disorientation often shows up as anxiety. Ali has seen children who are withdrawn, shy, or uncertain about making friends. “If they did not come with friends from primary school, they are essentially starting over,” she said. To help, she uses icebreakers such as creative introductions and hobby-sharing to spark connections among classmates.

Friendship, however, is only one piece of the puzzle. Ali says that routine and structure are the foundation for reducing anxiety. “The role of a routine is invaluable in a child’s life. It sets structure and a standard. A study timetable builds their tolerance for the volume of work coming at them,” she said. At home, parents can prepare children by keeping them on a schedule during vacation — from regular mealtimes to short daily reading sessions.

Teachers, too, play an important role in helping anxious students feel comfortable. Ali encourages group activities, peer work, and small classroom responsibilities to give children a sense of belonging. “Children love to help,” she said. “Even something as simple as erasing the board gives them a sense of importance.”

The educator also highlighted the importance of parental involvement. “Support is not just packing lunches and sending them to school. It’s speaking with your child, understanding what is happening, and working with teachers.” Parents, she said, should know who their child’s friends are, monitor social media use, and keep communication open.

Positive reinforcement also helps ease anxiety and build confidence. From classroom recognition to school-wide awards, Ali believes celebrating effort is key. “We build confident children by giving them the tools for success and by also letting them know that we believe in them.”

Her advice to parents? “Build a routine for your children, engage with their academic and social life, and be a safe space for them.”

For children entering school for the first time, Ali advised parents to discuss school in a positive way, read stories about starting school to build their excitement, set routines a couple weeks before, build independence by allowing your child to pack snacks, dress themselves, or carry their bag, role-play by practicing classroom scenarios like asking the teacher for help or to use the bathroom.

To older students, she said: “Time management is everything. Homework and revision are not the same — both are important. Stay on top of assignments, revise every day, and you will feel in control of your learning."