Bullying must never be condoned

THE EDITOR: As a former soldier, police commissioner, and, most importantly, as a father and not as a politician, I speak today not just from experience, but from the heart.

In recent months we’ve seen an increased and rightful focus on bullying in our schools and across society. And let me be clear: bullying is unacceptable. No child should be ridiculed, isolated, or physically harmed because of their size, appearance, religion, background, or beliefs. That is not who we are as a people, and we must protect our children – especially the most vulnerable – from this kind of abuse.

But in our commitment to ending bullying, we must also strike a balance. We must not confuse discipline with cruelty, nor confuse childhood banter with malicious intent. There is a line – and it must be drawn with care.

As a young boy at St Mary’s College in the 1980s, I remember the games, the jokes, the challenges among friends, the clout on your head when it is your birthday, or the bald-headed haircut your parents gave you. If these incidents take place now, the bullying accusation pops up. Some of it was rough, yes, but it also built character. It helped mould many of us into strong, resilient individuals who were able to face the real world with grit and determination.

Later, in the army, that inner strength helped me graduate from one of the world’s toughest military academies. Our local army recruit training was intense, with knuckle push-ups on gravel and training instructors attempting to break you down, solely to build you back up to become TT's finest. Now it is practically unionised, and if one is shouted at, they take the Defence Force and the state to court.

I share this not to glorify hardship, but to remind us that while we must always protect the weak, we must also prepare our children to be strong. The world is not always kind. And in our efforts to shield young people from harm, we must not deprive them of the tools – emotional resilience, confidence, courage – that will help them navigate life’s challenges.

We must teach our children the difference between hurt and hostility, between teasing and torment, between character-building and cruelty. Yes, let us act swiftly and decisively against true bullying. But let us also raise children who can stand up for themselves, who are confident in their identity, and who know when to speak up – and when to stand tall.

I also want to caution the national conversation – especially among our leaders. When political discourse descends into accusations of bullying over every comment, it sends the wrong message to our youth. We must model maturity. We must show them how to disagree without being disagreeable – and how to handle pressure with dignity.

It has reached a point where some in Parliament operate like babies, crying as soon as somebody makes a comment that even mildly disagrees with them, saying, “Mr Speaker, I'm being bullied.” Not only is that a part of the cut and thrust of politics, it is part of the long and hallowed traditions of parliamentary debate.

Let me be crystal clear: bullying must never be condoned. But resilience must also be cultivated.

In fact, my whole life has been dedicated towards protecting those who need protection. I was involved in numerous confrontations, even in school, where I intervened and defended those who were being bullied by bullies.

In my 17 years as a career soldier, I swore an oath to defend our country, and this core value of protecting those who may be seen as easier targets informed my tenures as national security minister and police commissioner, which is why the Child Protection Unit was formed under my watch as minister, and the Gender-Based Violence Unit was formed when I was commissioner.

The future of our nation depends not only on how we protect our children, but how we prepare them. Let us raise a generation that is kind but courageous, respectful but resolute, empathetic but empowered.

As a leader, and as a father, I will continue to fight for both: protection where it’s needed, and strength where it’s earned.

GARY GRIFFITH

via e-mail