Developing grit in teens

Dr Asha Pemberton

teenhealth.tt@gmail.com

GRIT ENCOMPASSES a combination of perseverance and passion toward a long-term, meaningful goal. By its very nature, grit involves working hard and to completion, despite setbacks and challenges.

In addition to requiring a deep sense of commitment, demonstrating grit means the ability to do hard and uncomfortable things. This ability may come more naturally to some young people. For the majority it must be harnessed and developed into practice.

Although grit is not a guarantee of success, it is to be noted that individuals who are willing to be consistent are more likely to have positive outcomes than those who quit or waver. While there will always be instances in which plans need to be revised, young people need to develop the ability to set healthy goals and pursue them.

Even in moments when tireless work does not yield the preferred outcome, the fortitude developed always serves them well. There is a mental capability that grows which can be applied to different future circumstances. This is grit.

From the parental perspective, there are many barriers which undermine the development of resilience and grit. Often out of concern, parents “step in” to soften the stressors of teen life and so inadvertently remove opportunities for young people to develop mental strength. Other times, parents do not buy-in to the goals and dreams of young people and so undermine their belief that their efforts will pay off.

While parenting involves supervision, guidance and support, during adolescence it is important for young people to experience challenges and difficult moments. It is through these circumstances that they grow.

In addition, each generation holds visions and dreams distinct from the generation before. Parents are encouraged to keep an open mind to the ideas of their teen children, as they will be the leaders of a different world.

Perhaps a main challenge in the development of grit is distraction. Young people must contend with an endless supply of in-person and online inputs which can take them off-path. The algorithms of social media, network streaming and gaming are designed to let the user forget the concept of time and become immersed in the activity. Without awareness, focus and attention are lost and other goals ignored.

In order to develop grit, young people need to be made aware of the use of their time and be accountable for the effort being placed on one activity as opposed to another.

It is tempting to give up when a project or school result is not optimal. It is even more desirable to then spend time watching funny videos. Doing so would be choosing the easier and more comfortable option.

Parents are encouraged to help young people make an honest assessment of how much emphasis they place on difficult tasks, despite frustration. This is grit.

While on the surface the concept of grit may seem somewhat harsh and unnecessarily uncomfortable, it is an important aspect of functioning adulthood. Adults are called upon to complete tasks in all facets of life, even in trying circumstances. That ability does not arise magically but is learned over time.

Consider the grit and capacity of the young people in your lives and then proceed to make small but consistent efforts to help them develop the tenacity and drive to see goals through to completion, despite any odds.