On deciding to become a fairy good monster

First, let us consider the story of Cinderella and unpaid labour. Not her woe-is-me list of domestic chores we always hear about, but for once, what others did for her. Birds, mice, lizards, even defenceless vegetables, were all press-ganged into getting her what she wanted.

You know who set that up? A woman who appeared out of nowhere and said she’d give Cinderella exactly what she wanted.

Now, does this sound like a good person or a human trafficker?

So no fairy godmothers for me, thank you. And I’ll raise that with a there-shall-be-no-fairy godmothering-from-me-either, thank you very much. Glad we got that settled.

Now, I’ve had this notion of being a fairy good monster for some time now. I think it’s the sort of role I was born to. As it is, I spend a lot of time questioning just how human I really am, so the possibility of being either or both fairy or monster are pretty high.

Here’s the thing: people need a good monster, whether they care to admit it or not. Whether they know it or not. Whether they like it or not.

For generations, Sesame Street did a nice trade in good monsters. They tried to tuck away our fears by giving airtime to fuzzy creatures with relatable idiosyncrasies and calling them monsters.

Reality 1 – Fantasy 0.

Mayhap you have a good monster in your life already. Maybe it’s the person in your family who always does or says the hard thing to the difficult person when no one else will. Maybe they do it because they don’t like the situation they’re in, but you really know you’re dealing with a good monster when they do it because others are unhappy but they won’t or can’t seem to try to change things.

The good monster will brave the wrath of whoever is bringing woe unto the family. They know, more like than not, that this is a thankless task. That’s another of their traits: they do not expect to be appreciated. And this lack of expectation keeps them sane. If they were in it for the glory, that would be a short career indeed.

The good monster will take the figurative licks (we can’t get into actual licks here) for everyone in almost any situation.

It’s not martyrdom. Rather, they have a feeling, right or wrong, that they can stand more pain than others. Or they are, somehow, better prepared for it. They can manage. They can survive.

That’s the thing – no matter how they work it out, the good monster believes they are more likely to survive life’s licks.

So, bring it. Get behind them. They will protect you. They will stand up to the boss, to the overbearing in-laws, to the awful aunt. They will take on the shop manager who let all – every single one – all the lines in shop get out of control and everybody cussing gently amongst themselves, but no one will speak to anyone in charge.

We don’t like to talk to in-charge people because that has real consequences. And that makes everything a little too real. We don’t like real. It’s not that we are unable to accept it or overcome it. I know we can and do. But we do that individual by individual. Family by family. Maybe, in some extraordinary cases, we see a community rally and overcome its reality together.

But as a people, I’m not sure we handle real very well.

Be not misled, good monsters are not fearless, or superheroes, or stupid. But there are some things that are bigger than any terror. The easy one is the principle of the thing.

I have seldom found a reasonable principle I wasn’t willing to stand on. Sometimes for days at a time. Whether anyone cared or not.

The other one is harder but more important. It’s what really makes you a fairy good monster. It’s doing it for others. Often without even thinking about it. It’s not being a pushover or a bobolee. Nor is it being interfering or troublemaking.

It’s saying that you will protect these people right here.

Unlike fairy godmothers, fairy good monsters are not covered in stardust and magic. They are solid, stoic, and sometimes a bit rough. There are so many behaviour types that are seen as unacceptable when what they really are is honest, protective, loving and true.

The world is on fire. Still. And the fire is getting closer. We could use a few more fairy good monsters. So I’m thinking of enlisting.

Remember to talk to your doctor or therapist if you want to know more about what you read here. In many cases, there’s no single solution or diagnosis to a mental health concern. Many people suffer from more than one condition.