My two sons

AS TOLD TO BC PIRES

My name is Natasha Lucas and most people don’t believe I have 22- and 24-year-old sons.

I live St Augustine now, but I lived on Park Street, between St Vincent and Edwards Streets, opposite Globe Cinema, till I was ten.

Independence parades used to pass by my feet. Daddy used to sell drinks from a bar in front of the house for Carnival.

I didn’t work in the bar, I was a child.

I don’t know where he used to find a lot of people who were not from the country, from Martinique, England, everywhere, and they would stay in our home and didn’t have to pay accommodation. Daddy would just have them stay over.

I have an older sister, Natalie, and when I was 13, my mother Patsy had my younger sister, Natalia. A very big gap.

Mummy liked (names beginning with n). Natalie is called Nat or Nats. Natalia is Tal or Tally. Everyone calls me Tash.

Things weren’t good at all at home. It was a very tumultuous upbringing.

Mummy tried really hard for her marriage to work, but Daddy was very abusive. That’s the reality.

It was like that till he went away when we moved to Diego Martin. That was the most serenest time of our lives.

Financially it was a bit hard, because he was the sole breadwinner. But it was peace.

He went away for about three years, then he came back and it was bad again, then he left for good.

They divorced when Mummy and my little sister went up to be with him. He (remained) very abusive, but in America, they don’t tolerate that kinda thing. I don’t think she would have been able to leave him here, but, over there, she was working and had more independence.

I was married when I was 24 and then my husband just left ten years after. Jeremy was ten and Zachery was eight. I guess history repeats itself.

It was very hard. There was a good few months when the boys were asking me, “Is Daddy dead?” You would suspect it being another woman, but I never really knew what it was. He just vanished.

I’m not currently in a relationship now. I have enough drama in my life.

I’m waiting for the Lord to send the right man.

We were raised Catholic, but as I grew older, I started to read the Bible for myself. And it came alive for me. I developed my own relationship with the Lord.

I don’t really subscribe to religion because I know it’s manmade.

I want to be myself, learning on my own, letting the Lord teach me for himself. Leading me where I’m supposed to be and the direction where I’m supposed to go in.

How are we to know that maybe the person that was to cure cancer didn’t die by abortion that was at the hand of a human?

I went to Briggs Primary School in Belmont and passed the Common Entrance for Diego Martin Secondary. My older sister was already going there.

I met my best friend, Nicole Alexander, in form one. She died last year of cervical cancer.

One of my favourite aunts died last month, too.

I’ve had a lot of loss in my life.

I know that there’s another side. This is the imperfect side.

And there’s a perfect side where they are happy and have no more pain.

I’ve also been through a lot of betrayal in my life.

But at the end of the day I really believe in loving God and loving people.

After O-Levels I did a few things here and there. I did a medical transcription course, an HR course recently.

My son wants to sign me up for university next year to do psychology, because I’ve always wanted to do psychology.

I had my boys when I was 24 and 26. Jeremy is the first and Zachery second.

He’s very particular about his “e.”

Jeremy was born at 4lb 4 oz. Very tiny, but full term and very healthy. I prayed, “Lord, don’t let me fall too much in love with this child, because if anything happens to him I might die as well.”

From a very young age the Lord has been teaching me not to get wrapped up in another human being to the extent where I lose myself. Because if I had been wrapped up in my husband or dad, I wouldn’t be a sane person right now.

Zachery’s teacher told me he had ADHD, because he couldn’t keep quiet at all. Then he passed for Belmont Secondary and was very upset, but I told him, “The Lord put you there for a reason.”

It turned out to be the best school for him, because they are very family-oriented, whereas in Trinity they are very academic.

Zachery thrived. He ended up getting all his passes, as well.

When people saw me with my two little sons, they were like, “Little children making babies!” I always got that. But they didn’t know my age.

My boys and I get mistaken for brother and sister. It’s flattering.

They don’t feel bad about it. They look young as well.

The youthful genes come from my mum.

The best part of having these big boys that look like my brothers is I don’t have to carry heavy stuff.

The bad part is, they are stronger than me, so they sometimes think they can have their own way.

It was difficult transitioning from them being children and me telling them what to do and me now having to be more their friend and advising them what to do.

But at this age, to maintain a relationship, you have to advise them.

Jeremy left home when he was 19, but now he’s back and they both live with me. I told him he not leaving again till he gets married.

We get along well, definitely much different than how I was raised. Plenty kicks.

I hope we will remain close for the rest of our lives.

You could never be sure. But we pray that we do.

Jeremy has this travel bug and wants to travel a lot.

I have no desire to travel. I’ve only ever been to Tobago.

Tobago is very slow and quiet. You just go Tobago to sleep. I like that at times, but I won’t move to Tobago.

My big sister used to call me “bookworm” ’cause I never used to like to lime with her.

I was always in a book. That’s why I don’t need to travel. I have books.

I don’t have a favourite writer, but I have a favourite topic: testimonies about people coming to Christ or overcoming something through the love of Jesus.

Everywhere has crime. Somebody told me that before they came here, they were hearing about all the crime, but when they got here, the crime was normal.

If crime is all you talk about, it’s gonna seem like Trinidad is a hotbed of crime.

But there are other things going on that if they put that on the front page, it would be different. Like health walks Saturdays in the Savannah. Those are good things.

I see myself growing old and being close to my sons.

I’m not too excited for grandchildren right now. But their children, yes.

A Trinidadian is somebody full of hope. Hoping the country will get better, hoping people would accentuate the good instead of the bad.

Trinidad and Tobago right now is sad because of all of the children that are dying. But it’s still full of hope.

Whenever my boys go out, I can’t sleep, even though the crime is relative.

Read the full version of this feature on Friday evening at www.BCPires.com