Living in the here and now

KANISA GEORGE

TO GET through the rigours of life, most, if not all, of us resort to the looking-forward approach. Over the last decade or so, this reward-focused concept has become a modern-day ritual often used to reward the sacrifices we make in our pursuit of happiness.

That upcoming girls trip somehow makes burning the midnight oil worth it, even if it comes at a great cost to your personal life. It's as if looking forward to the next big, exciting thing has become the end game, and everything leading up to the event is merely a stepping stone to happiness.

Life is a series of experiences, good, bad and in between, and when we experience rainy days, having an optimistic outlook on the potential sunshine in our future is crucial to enduring difficult times. Even when life becomes a hodgepodge of mundanity, we resort to daydreaming about what we'll do on vacation or liming plans for the upcoming long weekend to overcome the inevitable angst we feel about inertia.

Setting your sights on adventures to come is undoubtedly therapeutic and a useful coping mechanism. Even so, far too often this concept has become the rule and not the exception, and instead of relishing in the tiny moments that add to our life experience, we focus on placing our hopes, expectations and sometimes even our happiness on things yet to come.

Have we become imprisoned to the looking-forward approach? By using anticipation as a tool for continued growth, are we foregoing the very act of living?

Research shows that anticipating positive future events is a powerful force in our lives and can influence how we approach difficult situations.

Clinical psychologist Ryan Howes asserts that when we contemplate positive future events like birthday celebrations or vacations, we become excited, anxious and filled with all the positive feelings of anticipation. This is particularly useful in highly stressful periods of our lives when our mental health is affected.

On the flip side, placing far too much over-reliance on the future or otherwise living in the "there" instead of the "here" can have vastly damaging consequences to our mental health and quality of life.

If we aren't careful, our present existence or immediate future might be overshadowed by the expectations and possibilities we dream up for the future. As a result, we might fall prey to the wandering mind.

While daydreaming about the potential for future happiness can be a pleasant distraction, overreliance on this state can set a dangerous precedent and derail your sense of the "here and now." When our mind goes on a magic carpet ride, we wander about the desired outcome and sidestep reality. In essence, we create a whole new world that doesn't even exist.

While the present is a firm existence, the future is something we can change and manipulate to our liking. Thus, we use it as a form of escapism. We avoid the now because, quite frankly, it can be too challenging to face.

But as lovely as it is to live in the future, research suggests that living in the present moment and practising mindfulness can increase happiness, boost mental health and improve your outlook on life experiences.

Most of us take for granted that even the mundane, difficult and sometimes gut-wrenching parts of our experience account for the whole experience of our limited time here. Echoing the sentiments of one writer, everything we do in the present moment will be our personal inheritance, and it is only by living in the present that we allow ourselves to build a world that will become our legacy.

When we constantly think about the future we want to create, we often don't leave enough room to take in what's happening around us. We fail to make time for the life we are living at this very moment.

By practising living in the here and now, with genuine kindness and without reproach and judgment, we develop mindfulness skills that sync our thoughts, feelings, sensations and environment. According to mental health experts, this approach can have a considerable impact on mental health and overall well-being. For example, studies found that mindfulness can lower blood pressure, improve sleep, and even relieve pain.

Dr Zev Schuman-Olivier of Harvard University found that mindfulness meditations can improve quality of life and reduce mental health symptoms for people suffering from chronic illness. It also gives you the confidence to confront the present while leaving room to be hopeful for the future.

The future, the present and the past make us who we are. We can only experience healthy living when we learn to balance and adequately integrate our future desires with our past experiences and the here and now. We must endeavour to plan for the future while enjoying the small moments of the present, even when they are tough and threaten to throw us off course.

Don't be mistaken. Though the road seems long, "you're only here for a short visit. Don't hurry. Don't worry. And be sure to smell the flowers along the way."