A promise made to my late father

THE EDITOR: The one-year death anniversary of my father, Fazil Mohammed, is nearing. He died at the young age of 59. My father never appeared to be a sickly man, though he had lost a toe – in February 2021. He was a strong, willing and loving father to myself and my three siblings.

In March 2022, we learned that Dad was suffering from stage four adenocarcinoma cancer. It’s a rare type of cancer. Cancer that forms in the glandular tissue, which lines certain internal organs and makes and releases substances in the body, such as mucus, digestive juices and other fluids.

My father’s throat and oesophagus was lined with tumours. He could not ingest anything, be it food or drink.

In September 2021, my parents and I took the covid19 vaccine. After that Dad’s symptoms started to show. He began complaining of gas pains, vomiting after eating, until it reached the point where he could not eat. After he had not eaten in almost three weeks, he decided to go to the hospital.

We thought to ourselves that was the best place for him. He should get better there and come home soon. We were so mistaken.

The ordeal began with the hours of waiting – night meeting day – just waiting to be attended to.

He was first warded at the San Fernando Teaching Hospital for surgery to put in a feeding tube so he could have some sort of intake past the tumours. Every time we asked about his surgery we were told “within the next 48 hours.” Weeks of hearing the same thing and my poor father still hadn’t eaten or drank anything. Just withering away while no one seemed to care.

Finally we made the decision to move him to a private hospital. We were told if we took him out we couldn’t bring him back. However, we drove him to a private hospital.

Due to covid19 my father had to take an antigen test. He was positive. He had contacted covid19 in the ward at the San Fernando hospital. He did the same antigen test before being warded there and was negative.

With the now disappointing news, my father was taken to casualty in San Fernando. He was sent to the covid19 facility. It is breaking my heart to write this letter, remembering every detail of what my father went through.

There he was kept and treated only as a covid19 patient. No one cared about his history: the fact that he could not eat or drink, the fact that he was a stage four cancer patient, the fact that he was in a lot of pain, the fact that he was scared, the fact that he missed his family and could not see them.

Eventually when he was covid-free he transferred to another ward. Soon after my mother discharged him and took him for his surgery privately. During his surgery he got a heart attack. By the time we took him out the hospital “his heart was at 20 per cent.” They had pronounced him dead. And then he “came back.” He started to stabilise.

He was then taken to the ICU at San Fernando General. There we became “the people from Southern Medical” and were treated with a bit more decency that before. Maybe it was the shift.

My father was put on a ventilation machine to allow him to breathe. They told us if he couldn’t breathe for two hours on his own he would die.

We got to visit my father. He had gotten his feeding tube and was now able to take in nutrients after almost two months of starvation and suffering. My father had become just skin on bone, he could not talk properly because of the tube and the tumours and struggled to talk to us. But he was looking so normal. Almost like he was fine.

Dad was always a fighter. He had the will to live. Unfortunately he did not make it. He was not able to breathe on his own and he died. The plug was pulled. The ventilator was turned off. So too was my father.

I believe if my father was given a chance to regain some of his strength he maybe could have made it. He starved for almost two months. He should have been given a little time to “regain himself.” More than a few hours.

He may have been just a stage four cancer patient to them but to us he was Dad. He was grumpy Grandpa. He was who he was. He was somebody’s husband. He was people’s loved one.

My letter might just be something you are reading but for me it brings a sense of comfort knowing that I would have written about what my Dad went through. This was something I promised him I would do. Thank you for taking the time to read my letter.

GINELLE MOHAMMED

via e-mail