How parents inadvertently create unhealthy eating behaviours

Dr Asha Pemberton

Teenhealth.tt@gmail.com

Eating Disorder Awareness Week is celebrated over the end of February and early March annually to shine light on these often hidden but potentially fatal mental health disorders. While eating disorders arise due to a combination of genetics, environment, personality and mental health, many experts note that there is a strong parental influence on eating behaviours and body image. From early childhood and through adolescence, young people mimic the actions of their parents and also subconsciously pattern themselves based on these experiences. When language around food is focussed on guilt, shame and punishment, certain messages become engrained. When comments about appearance are linked to ridicule or insults other types of messages are stored. The impact of parenting on eating disorder development is not to be minimised.

Using body image as a compliment

Almost universally, young people who struggle with eating disorders can identity a moment, statement or experience where someone created in them, a sense of shame related to their physical appearance. In youth culture, terms such as “thick” and “built” can be used in complimentary ways, and equally used as criticisms. The world is already full of critical and judgemental people. Young people do not need to face such commentary in their homes and safe spaces. Despite our general culture, modern parents need to be mindful of how they use body image descriptions with their teens. Adolescence is a time of fragile and transient emotional development. Language that highlights insecurities that young people already have only serves to confirm their fears and potentially set the scene for unhealthy practices. Conversely, when young people are excessively praised based solely on their appearance, this too creates the idea that success is achieved only when a certain body type is achieved and maintained, at any cost. There is more and more recognition of the power of words on the developing teen brain. Take time to compliment character, achievement, connection and generosity. Support the many attributes that lead to healthy adolescent development.

Obsession with diet culture

While parents are required to provide balanced and healthy nutrition for the developing bodies of their children, this is quite different from over analysis and even obsession diet and weight loss. For those teens who are at a non-ideal weight, general family directed strategies should be employed to ensure healthy weight restoration. Placing one child on a “diet” while everyone else around engages in less ideal foods, simply serves to encourage dishonesty, secret binging and create an even lower self-esteem. Crash diets, restriction, and compulsive weighing do not support healthy weight management in adolescents and can inadvertently create even more distorted and abnormal eating behaviours. This is particularly related to binge eating, a practice which many young people do secretly and explains why despite the efforts of parents and professionals they continue to gain unhealthy weight.

Structure around meals, consistent meal times and family meals are the essentials of positive and mindful eating behaviours. In this regard parents need to also be aware of their own personal narratives considering diet and body image. When young people constantly hear their parents berating themselves about their bodies they take away a hyper awareness about themselves. In the same way that withholding or restriction of food is not recommended, it is equally non-ideal to use food as a reward. This habit also teaches young people that certain foods are deserved and connected due to emotional states; which means that you ‘deserve’ treats when you do well and equally ‘need them’ when life becomes challenging to help you feel better. This is the very backbone of emotional eating and the subsequent rollercoaster that it can create. Food simply should be considered to be a requirement of sustaining life. Teaching teens to choose food as natural to the source as possible, with emphasis on whole foods, water, vegetables and fruit is the first step. While they have access to vast varieties of snack and “food-like substances” young people need to recognise for themselves the potential harm in over consumption of them, as opposed to being forced to avoid them or being offered them as treats. The connection between mind, body and eating is a powerful one, as we simply must eat to live. How parents foster that connection can make all the difference in promoting lifelong health, wellbeing and mindful eating.