The importance of maintaining solitude

Kanisa George

We've often been told that no man is an island and that two heads are better than one. In the grand scheme of things, these notions generally hold firm, for it is undisputed that we are nothing without the strength of others. Yet, in many ways, the concept of isolation has been left to collect dust, along with its state of being that we are only sometimes encouraged to explore.

When one enters a state of solitude or isolation, it usually garners negative attention; after all, who actively chooses to be alone?

For as long as I have been alive, solitude has been associated with immense stigma. We are quick to make snide remarks about persons who maintain a lone wolf mentality or those too socially awkward to surround themselves with others constantly. Even science, for some time, has given time alone a bad rap. John Cacioppo, a modern social neuroscientist who has extensively studied loneliness – what he calls chronic perceived isolation – contends that beyond damaging our thinking powers, isolation can even harm our physical health.

But is there merit in choosing solitude from time to time? And should we ignore granular views that prevent us from embracing the benefits of isolation?

Recently, scientists have been approaching solitude as something that can prove therapeutic when pursued by choice.

One study found that this is especially true in times of personal turbulence when the instinct is for people to reach outside of themselves for support. The study found that when people remove themselves from the social context of their lives, especially when faced with a personal conflict, they can better see how that context shapes them.

One deep-rooted misconception about solitude or being alone is that it somehow equates to loneliness. But this isn't always the case. Unfortunately, this misconception prevents us from seeing the utility of spending time with ourselves. Some of us subconsciously feed into the narrative that when we are left in a state of isolation, we are naturally unable to reconcile our thoughts and our emotions are somewhat scrambled.

Studies show that when we are by ourselves, what is uncomfortable is the lack of stimuli, that you can't rely on other people to shape your experience in a certain way. And this arguably might be explained by the way we were taught to perceive the experience of isolation.

Conversely, there is evidence which suggests that valuing solitude doesn't hurt your social life, in fact, it might add to it. One expert believes this is because solitude helps us regulate our emotions and better prepares us to engage with others.

Choosing to spend time doing things alone can have mental, emotional and social benefits. Still, the key to reaping those positive rewards, according to psychotherapist Emily Roberts comes from choosing to spend time alone. Understanding voluntary solitude requires a deep understanding of our capacity to be alone and what it means to honestly sit with your thoughts and refocus without the impact of your social circle.

What many of us often fail to grasp is that by developing the capacity for solitude, we're making space for us to understand ourselves. One writer found that being alone with your thoughts, and giving yourself the space and unstructured time to let your mind wander without social distractions, can also sometimes feel intimidating. This might be because we're bred to exist in social settings without recourse for the need for time to ourselves.

Surprisingly, as much as we're taught to reject solitude, science shows it's actually something our bodies crave. Sadly, because we're not used to labelling the feeling, it can easily be confused for, and feed into, other emotions like anxiety, exhaustion and stress. In reality, all we need is time to make ourselves feel better.

According to speech and language therapist Dr Angela Grice, "cultivating this sense of being alone and choosing to be alone can help you to develop who you are, your sense of self, and what your true interests are."

Numerous studies show that solitude has been linked to increased happiness, better life satisfaction, and improved stress management. In addition, a number of studies found that people who enjoy alone time experience less depression, and it grants them the opportunity to plan and reorient their lives. Notably, spending time alone can give you a chance to ensure there is a purpose to everything you're doing.

Making time for self-isolation also allows you to think about your goals and progress and implement life changes. In many regards, solitude can be beneficial, but in order for it to be effective certain preconditions must be met.

Developmental psychologists suggest that solitude can be productive only: if it is voluntary, if one can regulate one's emotions effectively, if one can join a social group when desired, and if one can maintain positive relationships outside of it.

When these conditions aren't met, solitude lacks the restorative element we crave and can be harmful.

No man is an island; of course, this holds true. But can our desire for holistic fulfilment only be met when we meet isolation and social interaction in the middle?