Jahmela Hidee Lamour Jacobson wins award for community activism

After suffering through a life of violence as a youth, Jahmela Hidee Lamour Jacobson has risen above it all to help others and change their lives for the better. And for her contribution and her work in community activism, she recently received the US President’s Volunteer Service Award.

Jacobson, 60, recalled the day in August when she got a call from a Trinidadian she did not know through Facebook messenger. The woman told Jacobson she had taken note of the work she had done, especially when, in November of last year, Jacobson jumped out a moving car to intervene when a special needs child was being dragged by an adult male who turned out to be his father.

Her actions touched the woman who called her a female Trinidadian hero – a Nelson Mandela, Martin Luther King, Malcom X, a Rosa Parks, a Harriet Tubman – all people to fought for the freedom and equality of black people, and nominated Jacobson for the award.

“I couldn’t believe it because I have never made the day for myself but I have always made the day for someone who needed it. But this person who called, who asked to remain anonymous, had made the day for me.

“Up to this day, I still can not get over this. When I got the email saying that I had won, I fell to the floor. I began to cry. And I still felt it was a dream, until they sent me all the information for the event.”

The ceremony of the President’s Volunteer Service Award took place on December 2 at the Hilton Long Island Huntington, Melville, New York. She said it reminded her that she “beat the odds” without using substances to soothe her pain. She felt proud of herself and promised to continue her activism until she died.

“I brought home this big win for and to Trinidad and Tobago. I cherish TT in my heart. Anything that I have done to make a difference in this world, I have done it as a proud Trinidadian first, even as I practised my rights as an American who believed in my Trinidadian roots.”

Born in San Fernando, Jacobson is now based in New York City.

She said, as a child, she “experienced some darkness” personally and towards her mother, which led her to want to help women and children and make them happy.

She said she moved to the US Virgin Islands with her family when she was about five years old, but her parents would send her and her brother back to TT, since her mother had property in San Fernando, and had a house sitter who lived on the property.

Unfortunately, that woman abused them.

For example, she said if she or her brother took food without asking, the nanny would burn their fingers over a fire. One time, her mother came to TT unexpectedly, saw their condition and never returned to TT.

At the age of nine, she started to notice that her father would beat her mother, but when she turned 14, she started to “rally for justice” for her mother. She stood up for her mother, and even hit him with a tool once when he kicked his pregnant wife in the stomach.

“Because of seeing the pain and suffering my mother endured, I decided to do something about it myself. That’s where my passion for standing up for women started.”

She told WMN it was when her mother went into the hospital to give birth, that her father started physically abusing her.

“Back in those days, people didn’t act upon things like that. No one took me to the hospital or anything like that. My face was disfigured, I could hardly see for like three weeks straight.

“When I finally looked in the mirror and I saw my face I couldn’t believe it. My face was twisted up, my nose, my eyes were shut, they were black and blue. The pain never went away.”

The abuse, she said, continued for years. She went to school with marks of violence but no one ever asked about it. She wished someone had helped her when she was going through her trials, which was why she was driven to help others.

She said the family moved to New Jersey when she was 17 and, not long after, her mother took her to live by a family member she had never met in Brooklyn, possibly to save her from her father.

She eventually attended Adelphi University, New York, where she graduated with a degree in communications and business management in 1985 before she worked as an accountant.

Jacobson said for years she suffered from migraines which affected her vision and hearing, causing her to miss school and work. It was only when one of her daughters graduated from high school, commented on her mother’s suffering and took her to the doctor, did she find out she had a brain tumour.

For years she underwent treatment and pain, but she beat it and continued her life as a mother of four, an educator, an advocate and an activist.

She recalled her first official foray into activism was in 1987 with the murder of six-year-old Elizabeth "Lisa" Steinberg. The girl was killed by Joel Steinberg, a New York City criminal defence attorney, who was accused of rape and murder the child who he had adopted illegally. He was eventually convicted of first-degree manslaughter.

“I wouldn’t call it a trigger but when you see a child going through things like that, it reminds you of your experiences.”

She would sit in the court during the trial, stand on street corners, chant, spread awareness about child abuse, and other activist joined her.

In 2006, when seven-year-old Nixzmary Brown was starved, tortured, and murdered by her stepfather in Brooklyn, she found out the family lived two blocks from her house and went there at midnight. There, she met hundreds of people of all ages mourning for the child.

“I knew those mourners needed healing. When you’re going through a situation like that, you need to find some sort of solace. I was talking to a school nurse, and she and I bonded and looked into getting a pastor to come and give a service to these people.”

They did that and planned a candle-light vigil for the following day, providing some healing to the community. They also met with other advocates and assembly men and women, and fought for Brown and children like her.

As a result, she helped to implement the Nixzmary Brown Law which requires a sentence of life without parole for parents or guardians who kill a child, founded the Nixzmary Live Forever Foundation, and produced and directed a documentary titled Nixzmary’s Life and Death.

The mother of four was also an advocate for the Jessica Lunsford Law which made it a criminal offence for someone to tampers with or destroy any court-ordered electronic monitoring device. It also made the term of imprisonment for committing a lewd act or “lascivious molestation” on a child under 12, when the offender is 18 or older, a minimum of 25 years.

“It’s not every child you could help but when you have that calling, you move. I think, globally, there are not enough laws or enough people who get involved to protect women and children. Women are the builders of nations around the world and they should never have to suffer at the hands of anyone. They should never have to experience abuse – emotionally, verbally, physically or otherwise.”

She also helped, whenever she could, in TT.

She said, when she was married to musician Errol Ince, he would bring her to TT. She would come with suitcases of new clothing, footwear, school supplies and other essentials, and stand on street corners in Port of Spain and St James, and distribute them to women with children.

“At that time, my husband made a lot of money in Trinidad but I didn’t know the value of TT money. I ended up taking hundreds of thousands of dollars and gave it away to women and children in TT. I’m not sure if he knew I did that.”

Also, over the years, she would see stories of local families in need and would contact them and send them supplies.

In addition, she said for ten years she used to blog in a local newspaper, bringing awareness to domestic violence and child abuse. Men and women would tell her their stories, and she was heartbroken to realise the issues were “rampant” in TT.

She was also disappointed that TT had yet to find a solution to domestic violence and child abuse and, it seemed, had no plans to deal with them.

“I’m not saying you don’t scold your children, but when you abuse them, you are causing distress, pain, and suffering to your children. And in most cases, the prisons are filled up with persons who have suffered from some sort of child abuse.

“I’m urging the citizens of TT, if you know something and you see something, say something, do something. Protect the women and children because if they are happy, it would mean a happy world for all of us. A happy wife means a happy life.”

She thanked her lawyer, Kenneth Monroe Brown, and brother, Willon Ivan Nurse, for always pushing her to continue her work and encouraging her during the times she wanted to give up. Also her mother, who told her she was special and expressed her pride in her oldest daughter.