Youth and sexuality

ANNA MARIA MORA

AT THE end of November, there were two children murdered at the hands of their mothers, a baby was found in the garbage outside one of our general hospitals, and while his mother slept a toddler walked off an unprotected platform, into a river and drowned. He was not found for a few days. His death brought to three children who lost their lives within a short space of time.

These cases occupied my mind for a while. I understand that the baby who was found is doing well. Then lo and behold through social media dated December 9, 2022, I got information that Emmanuel Macron, the President of France, will make condoms available for free to 18-25-year-olds, in an attempt to reduce unwanted pregnancies among young people.

"It's a small revolution for contraception," Macron announced during a health debate with young people at Fontaine-le Comte, a suburb of Portiers in western France.

This fact is another difference between developing and developed countries. Developing countries will always be developing, as if marking time.

Macron did not pull this decision out of a hat. He was informed by research. Developed countries do research to inform their practice or their decisions for continued development.

A 2021 study found that more than a quarter of French people say they never or don't always use condoms. The main reason was that they did not have one with them.

The Government was already giving free birth control for all women under 25 years this year. He wanted to ensure that women did not stop taking contraception because they could not afford it. Condoms are already reimbursed by the national healthcare system if prescribed by a doctor or midwife.

The move is also important to fight the spread of AIDS and other sexually transmitted infections. Interesting for me is that Macron has put the responsibility on the young women.

In discussing this with a colleague, the suggestion came up that this move will also take the pressure off the welfare system, which would have to take care of the children of mothers who are not yet working or are still at school, with families needing assistance to take care of the children.

What is important to note about this is that developed countries do their research and studies on the problems their countries are experiencing and make the relevant changes to ensure their citizens are able to thrive and make a contribution to the development of their societies (not their destruction). This study was reported in the New York Times.

It is important to understand also that young people (both men and women) must be taught to take personal responsibility and not respond to their biological (animal) instincts when they find themselves in a sexually-charged situation. I know parents who are very realistic about this and are empathic because they do not forget what it was like when they were teenagers and young adults.

I was told about a parent of an upper-class family (yes, in TT) calling her daughter and speaking to her about the issues which will arise as she is becoming a young adult and has a boyfriend.

She had a calm discussion with her daughter. Listened to her her feelings and thoughts and handed her some condoms, insisting that if she finds herself in such a situation she must think of herself and demand that they be used. If the boyfriend is hesitant, for whatever reason he gives, she needs to take charge and show her independence.

Mother and daughter have regular discussions about the future, so mother trusts that daughter will make the right decisions. Daughter had just done her A-Levels. Mother knows that some men can become very abusive in such situations. The daughter agreed that she will take responsibility for this and knows for sure that at this point in her life she cannot become a mother. She has her plans. University is awaiting her.

It is important too that during the relationship the young woman takes note of her boyfriend's behaviour. Does he lose his temper easily? Is he impatient? Is he domineering and wants everything his way? Daughter must also know that her mother and brother are there for her. It is so refreshing to see a mother and daughter have this kind of relationship.

The "Mother of all Carnivals" is imminent and we know about the trend nine months after Carnival. We joke about this, but it is not a joke. We have to end the trend.

The French President is facing reality head-on. He knows that a comfortable future for young people in France rests on the research and studies that are done today. The sexuality of French youth must be faced head-on.

There are many young women who are walking around TT with babes in arms and toddlers holding on to their skirts. They all look sad, even the toddler. Their mental health is also compromised. No male person is with them.

The issue of religion did cross my mind when I was writing this, and decided to do some research. I did ask myself the question about Macron's religion. This is what I found. Although he was raised in a non-religious family, Macron was baptised Catholic at his own request, at the age of 12. He is agnostic today. (Check the dictionary for the meaning of "agnostic.")

Anna Maria Mora is a counselling psychologist