Supporting teen mental well-being

Dr Asha Pemberton

teenhealth.tt@gmail.com

Parents play a critical role in supporting the holistic and mental well-being of children and teens. While with each generation, the challenges, exposure and attitudes of young people seem to veer further and further away from those of their parents, it is still strongly recommended that the difficult conversations happen and active efforts made to manage mental health.

Allow them to authentically share their feelings

Make the space and find the time to regularly check in with your teen children. Inquire about their school life, daily activities and hobbies and more so how they feel about these things. If you find difficulty making time, invite them to join you in daily activities at home, or in the car doing errands. When consistently done, young people are reassured that you care. During conversations, be mindful of your verbal and non-verbal responses. Young people are particularly sensitive to feelings of judgement and critique. Constantly remind and reassure them that you remain supportive, regardless of what is happening in their lives and that you are open and available to have them comfortably share their feelings, even if they are likely to differ from the adults around them. As a parent it is easy and quite intuitive to notice teen behaviours which you disapprove of. Equally, parents ought to notice and recognize the things that they have done well or even been courageous to attempt. It is similarly easy to reward high accomplishments, but equally important is recognising when efforts are made through adversity or anxiety. In adolescence often the reward is the attempt.

Resolve conflict together

Parents and teens will disagree. Teens and parents will have different views on many things. Conflict will arise but can be reasonably and successfully mediated. Parents, take time to assess your own emotions and resist discussing important matters when angry. Find the pause. Listen to your teen’s views and try to sort out conflict calmly. As young people push to gain autonomy, power struggles are created. As parents, your role is not to forcibly exert power, but rather demonstrate your role of authority through the rational behaviours and words that you choose. Be honest and transparent about challenges of life and model the appropriate behaviours that show that even through stress, calm resolution is possible. Give teens the opportunities to offer solutions and be consistent in your application of their choices.

Self-care

Perhaps the most important way in which parents can support teen well-being is through their own well-being. Parents who are chronically stressed, angry, burnt-out, substance using and social media addicted, often have young people will varieties of emotional health concerns. These arise from lack of supervision, inappropriate parenting and simply the environment which exposes them to risks. Take the time to be aware and mindful of your own mental health, so that you do not project problems on to your teens, or similarly ensure that you are in a solid position to actively parents. Ask for help when needed and solicit the support and opinions of other parents. Take time for the other relationships in your life so that you too feel loved and fulfilled. Overall, young people learn so very much from the examples that their parents set. Through self-care, daily practices of well-being and emotional health young people have opportunities to create for themselves, lives of wellness, positivity and joy.