Educate to empower our youth

ANNA MARIA MORA

Counselling psychologist

EVERYONE is huffing and puffing about the “evil” in our society.

What I do know is that repetition improves learning. Therefore, I repeat: at birth, we are mammals, because we give birth through what is called the birth canal, we suckle our young, and have hair at some time during our lifetime, like dogs, cats, cows and all other mammals.

The two basic instincts that motivate us at this point are sex and aggression.

However, we were created with two characteristics which make us different from our four-legged friends and those who swim in the ocean. These are intelligence, or the power to think for ourselves, and will, which is the power to choose our good.

I have realised that many children come into this world by chance. The male and female just feel the “urge” and the animal in them is activated and they engage in the sex act and a child happens.

No thought that they are two human beings and they have choices. No preparations are made to give this child a life that nurtures and encourages success.

As children get older, their knowledge of the physical self, self-worth, self-esteem and self-confidence need to be etched into every fibre of their being.

The UN Convention on the Rights of the Child, Article 17, demands that children have “access to information.” Without information they cannot make the right choices.

I did an exercise with a class of fifth-formers who were preparing to enter the world, and the world of work. After building rapport and working on their hopes, dreams, relationships and their career path, I asked them to write down questions about anything they would like to discuss.

I divided the questions into categories: Life, Parents, Sex, General.

Here are the questions your teenagers asked in the sex category:

Do you think having a boyfriend from as early as 14-16 is wrong?

How do you know a person is having sex?

Why does it hurt when you break up with someone?

Why are girls so soft when you touch them and boys so hard?

If I start having sex as an adolescent will my parents know?

What is the problem with teenage pregnancy?

What is the difference between boys and girls?

Why do men have sex with other men?

Why is there Aids?

Is oral sex ok?

Why do girls always want to have sex with maxi-taxi conductors?

What do girls find attractive about men who smoke?

Why is kissing a sin?

When is the right time to become sexually active?

Is virginity important?

If someone you know is gay, what is the responsible thing to do?

Interesting for me was the fact that they cannot ask their parents these questions – this feedback was unanimous.

We worked through these questions. This was one class in which everyone participated fully.

I met one of these young men two weeks ago. He came up to me. Of course, I did not recognise him. He told me he was in the class and he will never forget what he learned from my interaction with the class.

Dear reader, I hope you realise that giving our children the confidence to speak up when something is bothering them, helps to protect themselves and helps us to protect them.

They need information and the confidence to say “No” in today’s world.

They also need to listen to their gut feeling, especially when that gut feeling tells them: “Something is wrong. I have to get out of this.”

If they are grabbed, they must know where to kick so that it hurts. We must give them the confidence to scream as loud as they can. They must not stay silent.

A professional must be chosen to go to children’s homes and talk with them about the above issues and questions raised by the form five class.

I am sure we now know that when we do the same thing over and over, expecting different results, we can be categorised as “insane.”