Making the impossible come true

KANISA GEORGE

"I think I can, I know I can" is a saying that we're all too familiar with. And even for those of us who may not have had the privilege of knowing Thomas the Tank Engine, this adage is pretty self-explanatory. We all push ourselves to the limit, doing our best to get to the next stage in the race while enduring falls, hiccups, and those unnecessary speed bumps. These minor or life-changing detours are character-building facets that we take with us along the journey of life.

Growing pains can sometimes feel like passing a kidney stone, and I'm sure I speak for most when I say we'll be happier if life were void of these challenges. Even so, we soldier on and get to the other side slightly bruised or in need of critical care.

We usually see challenges as those out-of-our-control variables or situations that put our tenacity to the test. Whether it be a relationship that has hit a snag or health challenges that push us to the brink. But have you ever stopped to consider that maybe some of the challenges we face are only in our minds? Perhaps we are in control of the very hurdles we struggle to overcome?

Each of us has a long list of strengths and weaknesses we carry around, navigating life as best as possible. Having a solid understanding of our shortcomings allows us to grow and find ways around life's hurdles.

Yet, even with our strengths on our side, we sometimes wallow in self-doubt and remain defeated by imposter syndrome.

Referred to as an internal experience of believing that you are not as competent as others perceive you to be, imposter syndrome (IS) is usually found in a professional setting. But new research has linked it to social contexts.

The central theme of imposter syndrome is one's inability to realistically assess their competence and skills, coupled with the constant feeling that one won't be able to live up to expectations. First used in a 1970 study conducted by Suzanna Imes and Pauline Rose Clance, it was found that despite having outstanding academic and professional accomplishments, women who experienced IS persisted in believing that they weren't really bright and they were fooling anyone who thought otherwise.

One telling aspect of their research is that even when someone achieved greatness, this did nothing to change their beliefs. According to studies, this has a lot to do with strong core beliefs about oneself that are difficult to change even when there is evidence to the contrary. Sadly, this is quite common outside of professional settings and influences how women view themselves in their roles as mothers, partners and even friends.

Although impostor syndrome is not a recognised disorder in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM -5), it is more common than many admit. A review article published in the International Journal of Behavioural Science estimates that 70 per cent of people will experience at least one episode of this phenomenon in their lives, and it can become a cause for concern in people who suffer from depression and social anxiety. The presence of IS is impacted by family upbringing, background and personality traits, but it's often triggered when people are going through transitions and trying new things, like a new job.

No one has all the answers, yet instead of finding workable solutions to address life's challenges, some of us become burdened by self-sabotage. Self-sabotage occurs when one hinders their success through action or inaction, whether consciously or blindly.

When these patterns are repeated, they keep us from achieving our goals and reaching our full potential. Self-degradation is at the core of self-sabotage and marries nicely with imposter syndrome. Habits of negative self-talk, or harsh self-critique, create a negative belief that penetrates our core.

When we believe these criticisms, we promote an attitude of self-defeat which keeps us from wanting to try again.

Self-sabotage reinforces negative behaviours that eat away at our ability to become successful, and we essentially place stumbling blocks in our way. So, what can we do about it? And how do we manage imposter syndrome?

Removing those self-placed barriers requires us to recognise our behaviour patterns. Negative statements like "I can't do that. I'll probably fail if I try" should be replaced with words of affirmation, such as, "I am going to do my best, I'll try and try again."

It is also important to identify those emotions that lead to negative behaviour and irrational thoughts. Once this is discovered, psychologists suggest that we consider what more profound beliefs lie behind this self-sabotaging thinking. Are these beliefs rational? Are they based on any clear facts?

One writer recommends that if you have long-held beliefs about your incompetence in social and performance situations, make a realistic assessment of your abilities. For example, write down your accomplishments and what you are good at and compare that with your self-assessment. That way, you'll be able to evaluate rational views from self-made boulders.

We all must learn to make the most out of the life we're given, and a big part of that is accepting our flaws. Allowing our shortcomings to determine the course of our lives is a flawed approach and truthfully makes the journey a lot more complicated than it should be.