The mere exposure effect

Isn't it strange the more we see things, the more inclined we are to want them? Whether it be a luxury product or inexpensive munchies, the more popular it is the greater the chances we'll desire it.

Perhaps ad companies are onto something. It only takes a KFC commercial to spark our craving for fast food or a Twitter feed clamouring about the return of Netflix's 365 days to send us into immediate watch mode. So, what is it about familiarity that comforts us so much?

This, according to experts, has a lot to do with the mere exposure effect, and it goes much further than our love for snacks or streaming platforms.

The mere exposure effect is a psychological phenomenon by which people tend to develop a preference for things or people more familiar to them than others.

The principle follows that repeated exposure increases familiarity, thus allowing us to quickly form connections. Scientist Robert Zajonc theorised that the more often individuals come into contact with a given stimulus, the more likely they would be to recognise the object and form their own attitude about the stimulus just by simply thinking about it.

Researchers found that this effect is most likely to happen when individuals have no pre-existing negative attitude toward the stimulus. In addition, it tends to be strongest when the person is not aware of the stimulus's presentation.

It is evident that the mere exposure effect is essential for marketing strategies, but can it give insight into how we form and maintain relationships? In relationships, do we prefer the familiar over the novel?

Studies show that the older we are, the more difficult it is to make friends and form relationships, and this is because as we age, our social circles typically get smaller.

Think about it, most of us have at least one friend in our circle we've made during the formative years of our lives, for example, high school. Or that one co-worker we always have lunch with or discuss the latest work gossip. Studies show that these relationships merge out of proximity.

Of course, you might have some things in common, and relationships solidify over time and shared experiences, but when we consider the genesis of these relationships, proximity might have a lot to do with it.

Research conducted by psychologists Leon Festinger, Stanley Schachler and Kurt Back found that you are more likely to form friendships and romantic relationships with people you have the most contact with than with people who live further away. One of the reasons why proximity matters to attraction, the study found, is that it breeds familiarity. In other words, people are more attracted to that which is familiar.

Just being around someone or being repeatedly exposed to them increases the likelihood that we will be attracted to them and essentially form a relationship with them.

An interesting study conducted by Festinger and others in 1950 unearthed that the development of friendships in an apartment complex was directly related to the distance between apartments. They found that people were more likely to become friends with neighbours who lived even slightly closer than those they seldom saw.

This lends some credence to why we formed an immediate bond with the girl we sat next to in Spanish class or co-workers at the office.

Is it that we have become enamoured by fulfilled expectations, or do we simply feel safe with those familiar to us?

Take, for instance, the very real example of a woman falling in love with a man who, for all intents and purposes, has personality traits that align with her father's. This isn't by mere chance but follows the principle of familiarity. This even holds firm when those qualities aren't positive.

Essentially, we form connections based on proximity, and proximity allows us to develop an attraction based on the relationship's familiarity. Familiarity, more times than not, tends to align with similarities.

We have been bred to believe that opposites attract, which I must admit happens occasionally. But there is overwhelming evidence suggesting that we are more likely to become friends or lovers with someone similar to us in background, attitudes, and lifestyle. According to researchers Miller McPherson, Lynn Smith-Lovin and James Cook, sharing things in common makes it easy to get along with others and form connections. Decisions are easily made when our likes are similar, and these connections create an authentic environment for relationships to blossom.

We understand that the mere exposure effect is sometimes responsible for us falling in love or forging relationships but does it help us stay in love or guarantee the relationship's continuity? Familiarity can keep a relationship afloat, but how does it stand against change?

Life comes with the inevitable change in job, address and even your favourite ice cream. And relationships that were once hot and heavy often lose their mojo. Perhaps we no longer see each other as we once did, or the dynamic changed.

But this might not always be the case, and even with a change in proximity and likes, relationships still thrive. Truth be told, change impacts all relationships, and as the saying goes, each person comes around for a season, reason or a lifetime, and logically the same is true about relationships.

But if there is one thing to take away from this principle is the notion that our lives might look very different if we'd just happened to live in another village, attended another high school or had a different job. And maybe, just maybe, it might not.