Tween development: next step – secondary school

Dr Asha Pemberton

teenhealth.tt@gmail.com

The weekend is finally here! After years, months and weeks of gruelling preparation, practice papers and review, the 11-12-year-olds of our islands have completed their secondary school entrance examinations. Far be it from me to enter into a discourse on the merits and perils of this process, the fact remains that tweens or early adolescents are about to embark upon a major transition in their lives in the coming months. Parents can support effective and successful movement from the primary to secondary environments starting now. The first step involves understanding early adolescent development and anticipating the changes that are about to occur.

Early adolescence (ages 10 to 13 years) starts with the physical changes of puberty. Body odour, acne and growth spurts lead young people to become more obsessed with their appearance and take lots of time experimenting with fashion and trends. Parents should be aware that body image and self-esteem are closely linked at this stage and inappropriate comments about body weight, shape, size can lead to negative self-concept and abnormal eating behaviours.

While all efforts should be made to encourage consistent physical activity and healthy nutrition, the focus should be on wellbeing and not a specific physical appearance. In preparation for secondary school, reinforce hygiene habits, skin care, menstrual management and healthy choices with tweens. Food choices in particularly are the earliest ways in which young people demonstrate their autonomy. Through parental support and consistent messages, they are best suited to choose wisely when in the school cafeteria.

Tweens quickly find their voices and loudly. Parents universally experience more "answering back" and defiance from their pre-teens, which although anticipated must be tempered by the rules of respect for authority.

In the secondary school environment, while educators are prepared to manage some challenges by youth, it is not their responsibility to manage defiant and disruptive behaviour. Starting now, parents need to actively reinforce to young people the boundaries of expression and respect for authority.

Many tweens transition poorly to secondary school and have frequent encounters with disciplinary action simply because they do not have the awareness or skills to communicate properly with adults. Young people who experience reinforcement of their insolence simply learn what they can get away with. Parents cannot be afraid to discipline their tweens.

Another significant transitional experience for young people moving from primary to secondary school involves friendships. As young people are exposed to other tweens and their ideas, music, interests and passions, early childhood friendships are often replaced. This can be truly devastating for some tweens, who invest their entire identities in their early childhood “best friendships.”

While parents should not overly hover or helicopter their tween’s social lives, they should encourage them to socialise with a range of friends and also accept that friendships through the teen years may change. Teach them to be a good friend and also be aware of subtle forms of bullying and abusive behaviour. Most importantly, tweens are fortified to be resilient to changes when they have a secure sense of self and self-esteem. Parents have a critical role in the development of these attributes through consistent communication, guidance and support.