Father of special needs athlete on parenting and inclusion: A work in progress

When Bernard Lee Singh was born, his parents did not know what to expect when caring for a child with Down syndrome and relied solely on their instinct.

Singh, now 21, has earned multiple achievements as a Special Olympian and a photographer.

During a telephone interview recently, Singh's parents Rohan and Julie Singh said despite the uncertainty and challenges over the years, they are grateful for the opportunity.

For many parents learning that their child is differently-abled can stir several different emotions, but for Rohan Singh, his family accepted the responsibility.

He admits while there was some unease and concern, they dealt with it together.

"You really can't describe a feeling like that.

"When the doctor advised us on the issues and what life would be like, we had to do what we had to do. We had to try and see how best he could be to see if he needed more attention.

"It was a kind of mixed feeling with joy but not sorrow per se."

With little references on how to care for a special-needs child, the Singhs took the advice of a therapist who suggested they enroll Bernard in the mainstream school system to see how best he would respond around children.

Bernard spent seven years at a preschool in Clifton Hill before being enrolled at the Buenos Ayres Government Primary School.

By 15, Bernard began school at the Lady Hochoy School for Special Needs Children in Penal where he was able to interact with other children with Down syndrome.

Parents of children with Down syndrome have often been advised to have their children interact with both developing (normal) children and other children with Down syndrome to expose them to a wider cross-section of behaviours.

While attending the Lady Hochoy School in Penal, Bernard developed a liking to Bocce ball, a non-contact sport using leather balls similar to lawn bowling.

The elder Singh admits while he never heard of the sport before his son took interest in it, he was happy he found something he could be passionate about.

"If they are showing interest in something you have to support them, don't discourage them, tell them they can do it if they believe in it and give them the encouragement because that's all you can really do.

"I guess it's learning to encourage and support them."

With his parents' support and coaching at school, Bernard was selected to be part of a delegation to compete at the Special Olympics in Abu Dhabi in 2019.

Singh said he was impressed with his son's ability in the sport and was pleased that there were organisations willing to acknowledge the skill of special-needs athletes.

He said initiatives which allow the disabled to push themselves to achieve the best would encourage them to be more self-sufficient.

Bernard's father attended the games with his son and gave him support.

While it was a new and exciting experience, it was also a sad one for Bernard as his friend and teammate was unable to compete alongside him for the events.

"I felt sad, but I was glad too," Bernard said.

Despite this Bernard won a bronze at the games.

Singh said being a part of these activities has opened his son's mind and willingness to try new things and he studied photography under veteran media photographer Krishna Maharaj.

At home Bernard continues to learn the basics on how to look after himself.

While his father admits there are concerns about what the future holds for Bernard, he says as a parent he will do his best to develop his son's skills.

"I tell people it's sort of like being an on-the-job trainee, as you go along you learn how to deal with them while you're dealing with them and it was a concern because I wondered if he would be independent enough to take care of himself, to do things for himself.

"We just had to take it in stride, step by step and walk with him as he develops and support him in whatever he wants to do."

Singh's mother said while they had their fair share of challenges, they were pleased with Bernard's development especially as they had no prior experience on how to care for a special-needs child.

"It's very challenging from birth to now because there has been a lot of ups and downs but you have to learn to give yourself courage to deal with any situations that come about.

"It was challenging but to see how he is now is a big improvement."

Both parents also agreed that while the perceptions of the differently abled are gradually changing, more should be done by government and the private sector to raise awareness on the issue.

Citing the performance of special-needs athletes at the Abu Dhabi games in 2019, Singh said more widespread coverage and attention would not only boost the self-esteem of other disabled people but also show the public that they are capable.

"It's only recently the public is giving them the recognition they deserve, it's been very slow and they need more programmes and attention

"Special needs people have been representing TT for over 30 years in the Special Olympics and they were never recognised only this time when they returned from Abu Dhabi."

While there is no instruction manual on how to care and nurture a child with Down syndrome, the Singh family used their love to help shape their son into the man he is today and that may be good enough.