Messages to lift spirits

DEBBIE JACOB

TEN YEARS ago, I read a little book called 365 Thank Yous by John Kralik, and it influenced my life in unimaginable ways. A few days ago, I rediscovered the book, now called A Simple Act of Gratitude: How Learning to Say Thank You Changed My Life. It is the perfect book to propel us through this pandemic.

In his book, Kralik writes about the worst year of his life. At 53, he had hit rock bottom. Clients stopped paying him the money they owed, he was sued by someone he had sued on behalf of a client, he was going through a second divorce and he didn’t have a good relationship with his children. Overweight, practically broke and with no real relationship in his life, Kralik felt worried and depressed as any of us would.

Kralik had two choices: He could wallow in self-pity or pick himself up and reinvent himself. On New Year’s Eve, Kralik says he decided he could either focus on what he lost or remember what he could be grateful for. In the worst of times, simple solutions for our problems often pop into our minds – if we don’t block them – and that’s exactly what happened to Kralik.

He remembered how a simple thank-you card from an ex-girlfriend had once lifted his spirits, and he vowed to write a thank-you note to someone every day for a year. The act of identifying people to write the notes to and then giving out the handwritten notes lifted his spirits. Gratitude created a positive focus daily and eliminated negativity. Such simple acts of kindness, we all discover, open up the universe for good things to happen with us. Gratitude humbles us to the core.

Kralik didn’t just target friends for his thank-you project. He wrote a thank-you note to his doctor and to some people he no longer felt on good terms with. This helped him to put failing or failed relationships into perspective and remember good times in the past.

Instead of feeding anger, bitterness and failure, he built emotional bridges with positive thoughts that opened up possibilities for healing.

Like many people, I feel the vibe that we put out there in the universe comes back to us. Kindness and gratitude teach us patience, appreciation and empathy. We don’t wait for our lives to turn around. Instead, we actively pursue a positive path so that we don’t feel lost and frustrated. Gratitude combats the feeling of failure.

Most of all, we become active and create sparks of happiness in situations than could render us passive and helpless. Any time we can create a positive solution in a negative environment, we can find hope and happiness – even if they are fleeting moments.

When I first read Kralik’s book, I decided I would use his advice in a way that best suited my life. I knew I didn’t have the discipline for hand-written thank-you cards every day of the year so I decided to send encouraging, appreciative and grateful e-mails to people as their acts of kindness or support popped into my mind.

Sometimes I sent messages to people who were going through difficult times. Sometimes I messaged people I felt disconnected from. I also targeted those people whom I felt I often took for granted.

I didn’t begin this practice at a time when I felt down or desperate. I wrote my thank-you e-mails when life was going my way, and still those messages lifted my spirit. Those messages made me recognise and appreciate a rich and happy life.

At about the same time I began my thank-you project, I decided to keep “A Book of Inspiration” with positive and encouraging e-mails people sent me. I saved these special messages in one document where I could look back on them in tough times.

This pandemic has been difficult for most of us. It is easy to dwell on what we have lost. We have made many personal and social sacrifices in this time, but we can all find someone to be grateful for in this most challenging time of our lives. A simple, unexpected thank you can provide a memory to cherish forever. It’s good to feel appreciated.