The ‘secret’ to keeping New Year’s resolutions

DEBBIE JACOB

I HAVE been playing the game of New Year’s resolutions for more than half a century, and over time I’ve learned a trick or two. The key to successful resolutions comes from framing specific outcomes that are positive, doable, reasonable and measurable.

The internet’s most popular advice is to make your resolutions visual and tangible. Instead of saying, “I will lose weight in the new year,” the internet suggests a measurable outcome like, “I will lose a dress size” or “I will lose a pound a month over the next year.”

Losing weight, eating healthier and exercising more top those lists of the most popular New Year’s resolutions. They are daunting tasks unless you break them down into those visible, viable chunks like, “I will exercise more by taking a 30-minute walk at least three times a week.” Try “I will improve my nutrition by eating at least two healthy salads a week.”

When it comes to New Year’s resolutions, you don’t want to bite off more than you can chew. It’s better not to make resolutions that are too demanding. Don't apply a resolution to every day in the week because if you miss a day you fail and give up. It's easy to give yourself excuses to give up on resolutions.

New Year’s resolutions are always personal, but I’m thinking one resolution should target our relationship with others. When I worked at Boeing Commercial airplane company in Seattle, I once had a friend who said her New Year’s resolution every year was to weed out the friends in her life who contribute nothing but negativity. But what if we put a positive spin on that concept?

Suppose we make a resolution that said, “I will find one friend this year who adds a positive value to my life by making me laugh" or "I will choose a friend who will take a walk with me three days a week."

Notice that resolutions requiring smaller measurables give you a better chance for success. We need to toss out that mindset that New Year’s resolutions should be rigid and routine. They just need to target improvement.

So what is the real purpose of New Year’s resolutions? Are they just some useless ritual we do every year with no real intent on keeping these difficult decisions we are supposedly targeting? Do we really want to change anything about ourselves or our behaviour or do we just feel it necessary to pay lip service to change? I still think New Year’s resolutions are important – once you find the knack of how to frame them so they are a challenge rather than a chore.

Another one of the top ten resolutions every year is to read more books. But what does that look like as a meaningful resolution?

A couple of years ago, I had a New Year’s resolution to read at least one book on every US president. There had been 45 presidents at the time, and I generally read between 100 and 120 books a year so that was a doable resolution. I made that goal and read several books on some presidents. One year I targeted books that were being made into movies.

This might be a good year to read more classics or discover new genres. Since covid19 has made travelling a challenge, a year of reading books from around the globe would be interesting. “I will read at least ten books set in ten different countries this year.” That’s doable.

Keeping a journal is another popular promise for the new year, but I lack the consistency to make that a successful goal. A few years ago, I started a “Book of Inspiration,” which is really a Google doc where I save inspiring e-mails or other personal messages along with inspirational stories and news articles I come across. This doesn’t require daily attention like a journal requires so it has been successful.

In an online writing class at Stanford University last year, we had to keep a journal of inspiration quotes or observations during the week that resonated with us creatively. That was fun because it wasn’t a daily chore.

There are many ways to turn those over-generalised, popular resolutions into exciting, doable and measurable specific challenges. It takes a little practice, but when it comes down to it, New Year’s resolutions are one of the best ways we have to set long-term goals every year.