First-time fathers say pandemic a blessing

For many fathers, this year’s Father’s Day celebrations will be confined to their homes with loved ones.

The almost day-long curfew restrictions implemented for the weekend as a result of the covid19 pandemic, would likely see small family picnics, barbecues, backyard limes or dinners.

Two men who became fathers – one right before the pandemic in mid-March last year and the other during the pandemic – said they were grateful for the extra time they got to spend with their children.

Bradley Ramdeen, 30, recently welcomed his baby boy, Bryce, now seven weeks old and his only child, for now.

Ramdeen and his wife Bridget, who recently moved into a new apartment in Diego Martin, said they were thankful for the “downtime” covid19 has given them to focus on their new family.

Having to work in St Vincent at times, he said that would have infringed on quality time he had with his family.

Ramdeen who did not name the company said his job as an IT programmer required him to be absent from home for about two weeks per month.

“I worked for a company in St Vincent and because of the restrictions I was not able to renew my contract, which included travelling back and forth.

“I lost the contract but fortunately I did not lose my job completely. They were able to use me as a remote resource but because of these changes, there were also changes to my income.”

Ramdeen said he did not see the reduced income as a deterrent because he now had new responsibilities to focus on.

Being a new parent, he said has been a challenge, especially in a pandemic, but the basics on raising a child did not change.

“Even though things around us changed, the care of a child and in my case, the care for my wife at this time have not changed.

“Of course, it is difficult, but I tried my best to prepare for it in as many ways as possible, by reading books and getting much needed advice from people in my circle who were parents.

“So far, what I am experiencing is kind of what I expected but dealing with it daily was a different ball game all together.”

It was depressing at times, Ramdeen said to have to stay away from other family members who were happy to lend physical support.

He noted that the grim covid19 statistics and data warranted them to take strict actions to keep their baby boy safe.

“We need to be cautious and wise at the same time, so we did not gather. My sister has not seen my son yet and Bryce’s grandparents have to be extremely careful when visiting.

“We have also had to cancel the baby’s christening and if this trend continues, it would not be happening any time soon. It is something we are sad about, but it is something we must do,” Ramdeen said.

One of Ramdeen’s challenges has been being able to register the birth of his baby at the hospital. He explained that because of health protocols and the number of covid19 deaths his appointments have been cancelled.

“I went to Mt Hope hospital in about the fourth week to register Bryce’s birth, but they turned me down immediately. They said the department that registers deaths also registers births and they have been overwhelmed for some time.

“Luckily I have three-month period to register his birth. Hopefully, I would try again soon.”

Ramdeen said his wife and himself were anxious to get vaccinated because that meant their baby would have better chance against the covid19 virus.

As a young father he wondered if things would return to normal so that his child could have the opportunity to enjoy a childhood, like the one he had.

“I believe in social interaction, and I hope that Bryce can get his playdates, outdoors activities or even have a pet. These are things are important for his development.

“Now we have to worry about things we never worried about, like a trip to the supermarket and what potential harm we could bring into the house. It is not being paranoid, but it does change our perspectives about what is necessary and what is not.”

Ramdeen said despite the circumstances, parents should embrace the time given to them to be with their children.

Another father, Terrence Durant, 30, has shared custody of his almost three-year-old daughter, Meliyah.

He said the covid19 pandemic has forced him to step-up as an adult and as a parent because he did not imagine having to toggle a child between two separate homes. Durant lives in Mamoral #, in Caparo and his daughter lives with her mother in Chaguanas.

He said despite the living arrangements he was grateful for the time spent with Meliyah and urged fathers who were in similar circumstances to make an extra effort to participate in their child’s life and upbringing.

“I was overjoyed when I found out I was going to be a father, but the standard family structure did not work out for us. It is not a bad thing, it just pushed me to be a better person for my child’s sake.”

Durant said he worked two jobs before covid19 was declared a pandemic to meet the needs of his family but as things got worse, he was forced to leave his part-time job at a supermarket. He is still employed at the Judiciary as a business operation assistant.

He said the covid19 pandemic has restructured his routine with Meliyah but welcomed the added time he has been able to spend with her.

“Fatherhood is a one of the best things that could have happened to me. I want to be a part of my child’s life and I cannot see why someone would not want to be.”

Durant said even though he would not be able to spend Father’s Day with his daughter because of the all-day curfew restrictions, he was grateful for the times they had together.