KFC for Astra-Z

BC Pires -
BC Pires -


THERE ARE three reasons not to directly mock the covid19-deniers and anti-vaxxers.

One, they probably wouldn’t catch the jokes (and certainly wouldn’t laugh at themselves; it’s hard to say which is more depressing, their terminal stupidity or their grim earnestness).

Two, mocking them would make them hold on even more rigidly to opinions – really feelings – with no basis in reality whatever.

They are not troubled at all that there is no proof of the positions they hold so militantly. Indeed, the total absence of proof is, to them, incontrovertible proof they must be right, because (as sheeple would realise, if only they “did the research”) there would be some proof if they were right, so the fact that there is no proof at all is clearly proof that the proof they rely upon has been suppressed.

Ent is Facebook does block video and thing? Well, then!

Which leads to the third reason not to mock them: you can’t. What chief cornerstone do you seek to dislodge when there’s no foundation at all?

It’s no accident that every covid-denier/anti-vaxxer is virulently anti-media. The only thing anti-vaxxers hate more than sheeple who won’t do the research is the lame-stream media which deliberately suppress the truth.

They are entirely unbothered that one of the “truths” regularly “suppressed” by the media they detest is the cause of the Flat Earth Society. Anti-vaxxers would rather accommodate Flat Earthers than the BBC, the London Sunday Observer and Guardian, Mother Jones and Private Eye.

They have more in common with Flat Earthers (and PizzaGate, and Q-A-Nonsense) than independent media. Indeed, their latest piece of dunce-genius is that the greatest conspiracy theory is the theory that there is liberal democracy at all.

Ultimately, “freedom of the press means the freedom to print such prejudices of the proprietor as the advertisers do not object to” (Frederick Charles Hannen-Swaffer).

But a flawed free press is better than no free press at all.

In the TikTok and Twitter age of 15-second videos and 280-character sentences (including spaces), “do the research” means: click and glance, click and glance, click and glance. And, 30 seconds later, deny science.

It doesn’t matter what argument you put to anti-vaxxers and covid-deniers because they are impervious to logic (and, too besides, they know you are a sheeple who didn’t red-pill).

And they are the vanguard on whom the future of the world depends. They are the warriors of the right, no matter how wrong they are.

The first weapon of the conman is veneration of his mark: you’re someone very special. Join my club and you’ll be in on something that all those people who think they’re better than you won’t. For once in your life, you’ll be an “us” and not a “them.”

If you know in your heart you’re right, you don’t need to confirm it with your head.

Now, if enough people don’t take the vaccine, we will never outrun this virus.

If you’re thinking, and not feeling, using your head and not your misguided heart, you reluctantly overrule the legitimate objections about the speed of the vaccine development and approval, given the overwhelming threat of the virus itself. (The anti-vaxxers aren’t bothered about that because they know covid19 is not real, and all those medical workers weeping on cellphone videos are just actors in the pay of Bill Gates. What’s happening in India today is exaggerated at best, a George Soros production at worst.)

Their ignorant determination not to put their own health at risk is exactly what will increase the risk for everyone.

But they are as impervious to irony as they are to intellectual appeal. They will swear a bizarre loyalty to people who have not just been totally discredited but proven wrong about everything they said.

What is fun for schoolboy is death for crapaud and who is crackpot for logical people is Messiah for conspiracy theorists.

So I say, don’t bother giving them arguments why they should take the vaccine. Just give them KFC if they do. Or cash. Take your first jook and the nurse hands you $20 and a dinner box. Get your second jab and you get a bucket of extra crispy and a blue note.

TT would be fully vaccinated overnight. There is nothing in the world, whether reasoned argument, religious belief or conspiracy theory, that a Trini wouldn’t abandon in a flash for a leg-and-thigh.

Even without fries and coleslaw.

BC Pires reaches for his revolver every time he hears the phrase “do the research.” Read the full version of this column on Saturday at www.BCPires.com


"KFC for Astra-Z"

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