On being a woman with autism

DR RADICA MAHASE

TODAY is International Women’s Day. March 8 is designated as a day to celebrate women's achievements and raise awareness about women's equality, amongst other things. As such, I am taking this opportunity to highlight women living with autism in TT.

Too often when we speak about autism we think about children, but boys and girls grow up to become men and women. Autism is not a developmental issue that goes away when children become adults – it is a condition that they live with throughout their lives. If they are given the proper tools to help them develop (education and therapy) they can learn to better manage sensory issues, etc, but they still face challenges on a daily basis.

Sadly, autism in girls has been generally overlooked. To some extent this is because of gender stereotypes which perpetuates ideas that it is socially acceptable for girls to be "quiet," but boys are active and boisterous. Hence it is more difficult to recognise autism traits in “quiet girls” because that behaviour is expected. However, with boys, parents/caregivers as well as educators tend to notice when they are "too quiet" or not socially interactive. Consequently, autism is under diagnosed in females.

Other than all the misconceptions, opportunities for continued mental and intellectual development of women with autism are severely lacking in TT. Take for example, the case of Samantha, 40, who was diagnosed when she was eight. She is on the lower end of the spectrum, cannot communicate verbally and never had the opportunity to attend a school.

Her mother noted, “People used to tell us that Sammy was evil and we needed to exorcise her and that she will spread her ‘disease.’

"We tried so many times to join her in different classes and no one would take her. It is difficult to take her out, because if she wants to use the bathroom, someone has to go with her. I can’t always be with her and her father can’t go into the female washroom with her, and people will stare at both of them if he’s taking her in the family washroom.”

Many women with autism fight discrimination on a daily basis. Jenny is 31, with high-functioning autism. She said, “I got six O-Level passes and nobody wanted to hire me. I sent out more than 100 job applications and I was always turned down at interviews. One person told me that I am bright but if he hired someone who wasn’t ‘normal’ he will lose customers.

"As an adult woman with autism, I am always judged and dismissed. In the end I learnt to sew and opened my own business.”

For women with autism, it is a daily struggle and the pressures are real. Shahira, 26, who is on the higher end of the spectrum, noted, “People underestimate me because they feel I'm differently abled.

"Some things are more difficult for me. For example, I focus on thoughts and incidents which upset me for days, weeks or even months and I would talk repeatedly about them. Often, I feel depressed, frustrated and anxious because I am being left behind in life. This is because I want to do things but my options are so limited.

"I also vent when I am upset because I need to let out my frustration. Then I risk being misunderstood by many.

"I make a conscious effort to control meltdowns when I am triggered and so many times when I am out in public, I have to mask my emotions when an internal struggle is going on inside.”

Today, as we celebrate International Women’s Day, it is a good time for us to acknowledge that not all women are treated equally and not all women have access to opportunities. Women like Samantha, Jenny and Shahira struggle on a daily basis to create a space for themselves in a society that just doesn’t see their worth; a society that doesn’t acknowledge that they can make meaningful contributions as well.

Today we celebrate all women living with autism and all other special needs in TT. We celebrate those women who are constantly fighting for opportunities and who create their opportunities for themselves because they have no other options. We celebrate women like Samantha, Jenny and Shahira who continue to try to fulfil their potential despite the challenges that are faced with. Happy International Women’s Day, TT.

Dr Radica Mahase is the founder/director of Support Autism T&T